Mother Stirs Parenting Debate Online After Cutting Family Trip Short Because Of Sons’ Misbehavior

Aug 02, 2023

Parenting techniques vary from one family to another. Sometimes, parents are more lax, while others are very uptight. In other instances, children fear their parents – afraid of the discipline and the consequences their actions might bring; while some kids tend to misbehave despite being called out multiple times. 

One mother’s parenting style was put under the microscope when she ranted on the AITA Thread on Reddit in July 2023 and wondered if she was in the wrong for cutting their planned vacation trip short because of her children’s misbehavior.

The Original Poster (OP), the mother, went on a family vacation with her husband, her two sons, aged 9 and 8, their 3-year-old daughter, and her mother, who wanted to spend time with her grandkids. 

OP confessed that the boys had been driving them crazy. “They fight like cats and dogs. We’ve had countless talks with them about respecting each other, to no avail. I understand sibling rivalry but it’s gotten to the point it’s disruptive to us all, every day,” she explained. OP said that she initially expressed hesitation about going on the trip, but her husband shut her down immediately and went ahead.

Predictably, everything went exactly as OP had envisioned – the boys were fighting during the whole three-and-a-half-hour car ride, and despite all the reminders to do good when they arrived at the rental house, they still misbehaved and disregarded all rules. 

“Shoes on the white furniture? Check. Running in the house? Check. I turned my back for 2 seconds and the 8 y/o threw a box of chalk in the pool to keep his brother from getting it. We went out to lunch and they were out of control in the restaurant. 9M ran away from us in a strange place because he didn’t get his way,” OP recalled. 

Elsewhere in her post, OP also recalled that the children were “being brats” when they arrived at the beach – refusing sunscreen, fighting over toys, going farther into the water, and even cursing. As soon as they returned to the house, OP was “fed up.” 

“They were totally ruining it for everybody. Nothing had worked and I told my husband we needed to go home, for the reasons mentioned above, mainly that they needed to see a REAL consequence,” OP elaborated. However, her husband still did not budge and insisted it would get better. However, OP gave them a condition that seemed impossible at first. 

“I put my foot down and told him that I didn’t even want to be there at that point so either I was leaving, or we all were. He got super pissed and told me it was ridiculous and unfair to our daughter. I actually agree with him but saw no other choice at this point,” OP said. 

The kids went on to burst into tears, begged to stay, and promised that they would behave. Her mother even argued with her and told her to “just let it go.” But OP was unfazed and cut the supposed-to-be four-day trip into less than a day. 

OP remembered that the ride home was riddled with hours of crying from the kids, and silent treatment from her husband, among other things. Her mother also started pestering her: 

“My mother decided to stay behind a little longer but then started randomly texting me about 30 minutes in, asking if I was serious (she knew I was) and told me the whole reason she came was to spend time with the kids, so I had now ‘ruined it for everybody’ and ‘they’re only little once.’”

The response of Redditors on the thread was mixed. Some assured the mother that she was not in the wrong for pulling that difficult decision that led them to drive back home. 

“NTA. The AH is your husband, who is questioning your authority in front of the kids. The other AH is your mother, who wants you to raise future serial killers, apparently. No, you are enforcing discipline, as any good parent should,” a user said. 

“NTA. Kids need consequences, and it sounds as though your husband and mother have been too inclined to give them ‘one more chance.’ If you ever need to say to them again ‘Stop that, or we’re going home,’ they’ll know you mean it,” another supported. 

“NTA regarding the boys, but please don’t forget about your little girl. It’s very unfair for her to be punished,” someone posted. 

However, many turned the argument back to the mother, pointing out her and her husband's failure to teach their children discipline when they were younger. 

“Perhaps had they actually parented their children for the last 8/9yrs then this wouldn't have been an issue. Sounds to me like the kids are AH because they lack boundaries and when boundaries are broken their parents lack any skills to deal with it appropriately. Kids were AH in the restaurant, why? How did the kid run away? There was a suitable kid to adult ratio (to) avoid that. This is a consequence of their shit parenting,” a Redditor commented. 

“YTA. Your kids are assholes, because they were raised by bad parents (assholes). They are under 10, I completely blame the parents. You need to figure your shit out. Both you and your husband need to get on the same page with respect, responsibilities, and discipline,” someone emphasized. 

What can you say about OP’s problem? Do you think she was in the wrong for cutting the trip short? Do you agree that her husband and kids were wrong? Or is it their bad parenting? What would you have done differently if it was you? Let us know, and pass this on to your family and friends!