Mother-In-Law Insists She's Right For Not Inviting Her Daughter-In-Law On A Girls Trip

Oct 12, 2023

Every mother-in-law and daughter-in-law (DIL) hopes to have a great relationship. Having a daughter-in-law is double the price because you gain a wife for your child and a bonus daughter.  

However, not all mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws end up having this beautiful relationship. 

A Redditor with the username Mysterious_Prior7438 found herself in such a situation when the dynamics of her relationship with her daughter-in-law turned sour. She took to the AITA subreddit, narrating the story on Oct. 9, 2023. She revealed how she refused to invite her son’s wife on a girl’s trip for what she considered the right reasons.

The OP (original poster) opened up on how her daughter-in-law’s weight affected things. She shared: “I have three girls and we still like to do girl trips for the day. My son got married to a girl named Beth. Now before her first kids she was average weight and after it got a lot worse. Her only kid is 8 years old at this point and she hasn’t lost the weight. It’s bad enough that she needs constant breaks walking.”

The mother-in-law bemoaned how Beth’s weight was affecting their relationship. She cited instances of how bothersome things turned out when Beth hung out with the rest of the family. She stated: “The last girls trip to the mall was spent sitting on a bench half the day since she needed constant break. If you try to leave she will go on about abandoning her. It’s annoying.” 

The MIL stated that with even the smallest of activities that required physical involvement, "she (DIL) ends up on a bench half the day." The Reddit user cited another previous experience the family had when they went out together. 

OP explained that they visited a small mall, and her daughter-in-law spent "half the day on the bench." "The last girls trip to the mall was spent sitting on a bench half the day since she needed constant break. If you try to leave she will go on about abandoning her. It’s annoying," OP said. She added that they ended up window-shopping due to this. The Redditor also explained Beth’s weight issue and the resulting effect. OP said, "She is obese, her ankles are swollen from her weight. The connection between her weight and not walking far without a break is very obvious."

The Reddit user revealed that she had three daughters with whom she regularly took girls’ trips. Prior to Beth’s weight gain, they all hung out together. However, it increasingly became stressful to include Beth in their plans. 

The Redditor explained that she used to like her DIL, but the series of changes made her feel otherwise. Things came to a head after the last girls’ trip. The Reddit user had not included Beth in the plans, and this caused major drama. 

She explained that she invited her daughters on a trip without inviting her daughter-in-law. The plan was "to go to a farm for pumpkin patch and pick some apples." The location had big orchards, and the activity involved a lot of walking. 

This could have been a big factor in her decision to leave Beth out. The OP relayed that they had a great time, and some of the pictures were uploaded on Facebook. As soon as Beth came across the snaps, things went downhill as she and her MIL engaged in a bit of a face-off. 

Seeing that the family went on a girls' trip without her, she called her mother-in-law to ask why she was not invited. The Redditor shared:

"I lied saying it was just a family trip and she accused me of lying."

At this point, the OP felt she had enough and decided to tell her daughter-in-law the truth. She penned, “I told her she wasn’t invited due to weight. That she forces us to stop all the time and it ruins the trips most days since we don’t get to do half the stuff. She called me a jerk and hung up."

Afterward, the Redditor’s son bombarded her with texts demanding she apologize to Beth. However, she and her daughters were "sick of having trips ruined," and they were on her side.

Other Reddit users did not hesitate to comment. One person agreed with the OP’s point of being tired of Beth’s issues. The user wrote, "After all, it's not ultimately about her weight, it's about her behaviour (which is indirectly caused by her weight. Probably.) You could have directly addressed the behaviour without the fat shaming. She's not really 'too fat', she's 'too inactive'."

Another user also commented, "But the truth is that you didn’t invite her because she isn’t physically capable of doing the activities that you had planned. Period. It doesn’t matter the root cause."

One person wrote, " Why should your trips revolve around her? Why should you be forced to plan outings that are within your DIL's step limit? Finally, you're free to only invite your actual daughters to things, too."

A lot of internet users saw nothing wrong with the OP not inviting her daughter-in-law and shared some advice on how Beth could manage her weight. 

Do you think Beth’s mother-in-law handled the situation well enough? What are your thoughts on how the family should fix the rift? Let us know, and be sure to pass this on to others.