Mother Gets Slammed Online For Banning ‘Overbearing’ MIL From Changing Her Son’s Diapers

Apr 28, 2023

Raising children, especially when they are in their formative years, has always been crucial. Parents, in general, want to raise their own children in very specific ways – either by the way they were raised or a different one – depending on the parent's decision. In raising children a specific way, some mothers tend to set boundaries and rules when it comes to their kids; this may include not doing specific things or even letting them do things that were frowned upon by many. 

In the case of one mother who took to Mumsnet to ask if she was being unreasonable, she banned her mother-in-law, her son's grandmother, from changing his nappy after an encounter they had in the past. 

"I'm very keen on consent and protecting my baby's privacy and prefer that only myself and my partner are the ones to change DS (dear son) nappy," the Original Poster (OP) wrote, referring to her six months old newborn baby. 

She further pointed out that she would "obviously" understand if either she or her husband was not available at the time or if someone else was babysitting her kid. However, that may not seem to be the case. 

"a while ago my MIL was over and my baby started crying and rather than just give him back decided to take it upon herself to change him (I was standing right there)," she recalled. 

While the baby continued crying throughout the quick change, her mother-in-law gave him back to her. As for OP, what her mother-in-law did "annoyed" her, saying it wasn't her place to change her son's nappy. 

Continuing her recollection of the said encounter with her mother-in-law, OP revealed to the Mumsnet thread that she kept her cool back then and didn't say anything at the time. Notably, her son was four months young at the time, and she was trying to be more nice and friendly to her mother-in-law. 

However, OP noted that she started to find her "more overbearing," and she was "getting close" to drawing a line. Asking the AIBU (Am I Being Unreasonable) thread, commenters noted that OP was indeed unbearable since she never informed her mother-in-law of such an "unusual" rule. 

"If you hadn't told her before about your (very unusual) rule about who can change your baby and when, then you are being unreasonable," someone commented. 

"I would have loved a relative on hand to change the occasional nappy. Feel sorry for your MIL. She probably thought she was helping," another wrote. 

"Sorry OP, but I echo everybody else. I can't believe you're close to drawing a line with your poor mil as she changed a nappy," a user said. 

Replying to a comment, the now-embattled OP explained that her son doesn't enjoy nappy changes, so she wanted to make it a positive experience for him, going as much as trying to calm him first before proceeding. 

"obviously for some reason consent parenting is controversial but it's not about the baby giving consent it's about setting standards early the same way I expect grandparents to ask my baby for a cuddle not just go to grab him even while young babies have a preference for who's holding them and I only let people hold my baby when he wants to go to them," she shared. 

However, many seemed to still stand on their opinions, saying that she sounded "unhinged" and "ridiculous."  

Do you think OP was being unreasonable? Do you think parents should give consent first before letting anyone help their children? Would you have done the same thing as the mother? Let us know, and pass this on to someone who you think would be interested!