Mother Gets Mixed Reaction Over Not Allowing Her 7-Year-Old Son To Go To Men’s Toilet By Himself

Mar 31, 2023

It’s not unusual for moms to be protective of their children. But sometimes, the way parents protect their children can raise eyebrows from other parents. Even though parents simply want the best for their children, some actions can come across as being overprotective. While parents have a way of protecting their children, it’s still the prerogative of the parent to protect their child however they want as long as it won’t hurt them in the process.

But there are approaches that might not only come off as finicky but also as something that doesn’t make sense at all. This was the case for a mother who only allowed her son to go to the ladies' restroom and never inside the gentlemen's restroom, especially on his own.  

In January 2023, a mom opened up about her concern on Mumsnet — a website made by parents for parents — particularly to ask whether she was being unreasonable in her decision to not allow her 7-year-old son to go to the gentlemen’s restroom.

According to the mom, she would still bring her son to the ladies' restroom each time they went out together.

“When we're out and my boy needs the toilet, I make him come into the ladies' with me,” the mom said.

But the mom said her son has since started complaining about her still bringing him inside the women’s restroom until now. While she allowed her son to go on his own once, she explained that it was only because there was no one inside that he might encounter.

“Problem is, he's starting to complain about it and wants to go in the gents on his own. I have let him do this in one particular place where there's never anyone about, so I knew he wouldn't encounter anyone at the urinals,” the mom explained.

The mom said she has been struggling to find the right words to explain where she’s coming from but said she usually doesn’t allow her son to go alone, especially in public toilets located in swimming pools.

“I'm always honest with him but I don't quite know how to explain why I'm not letting him do this anywhere else, like at the swimming pool/gym toilet,” she remarked.

Explaining what she’s worried about, the mom said the possibility of men approaching her son worries her.

“Obviously, he's perfectly able to use a toilet himself, but the idea of him seeing grown men using urinals, or – even if it's a small chance – someone dodgy approaching him, worries me. We all know there are flashers and worse about, I saw them when I was a kid and so did most women I know,” she said. “At some point, he just won't agree to go let him go in the gents and stand outside in the ladies, hopefully by then he'll be ready to handle any bad situations,” she added.

After she asked moms, she was flooded with responses. Many gave her advice on how she should teach her child how to handle dangerous situations.

“Let him go to the gents and you stand outside. Tell him to scream if somebody stops him from leaving. Otherwise, continue with your stranger danger teachings. He’s got to learn to go by himself at some point,” one parent said. 

“Talk to him about how to handle different situations. I called in after mine that I was just outside, so anyone inside knew someone was watching out,” another parent said.

Others found the mom’s behavior too overprotective and said:

“At what point will you allow him to go to the gents? A special outing on his 18th birthday?”

Another dissenter said, “My son went to the gents as by that age I did not think it was fair on other people using the ladies.”

“I don’t think most men’s toilets are full of predators who hang out there all day waiting to pounce on a kid,” another user said and added, “There is too much paranoia around these days. In some people’s heads.”

When one user commented, “I challenge boys who look more than about 7 using the ladies,” it set off a firestorm of its own. In response, another person wrote:

“Why? How weird. What's wrong with a child being in the loos, I assume people are in their own cubicles and you close the door when you go to the toilet? It's literally just a room with sinks and mirrors in it.”

Another reacted:

“How ridiculous, you’re an adult and you challenge children for using the ladies? Does it make you feel powerful or do you just like to complain?”

Others asserted that the appropriate age for boys to start using the restroom alone is 8, as “it’s pretty much the rule of thumb for all leisure centres, gyms and mixed facilities. It’s also the age they are allowed to be unaccompanied in the facilities,” one user said.

Others said it was probably time to let her son do so as he has already begun speaking up about it.

“He’s borderline really but I think the important thing is he’s obviously uncomfortable in the ladies which is very valid,” a comment read.

What can you say about the mom’s decision not to allow her son to enter the gentlemen’s restroom on his own? Let us know what you think, and pass this on to your family and friends to get their opinions too.