Mom Leaves Her Husband For Vacation Alone After He ‘Disregarded’ Her Pleas For Help With Toddler And Housework

Jul 18, 2023

Being a mom is no walk in the park. While motherhood can be full of joy and purpose, it also comes with very real and exhausting responsibilities. Apart from having to meet the baby's needs night and day, there's also the household to upkeep. Without a considerate partner who can pick up the slack and contribute when it comes to daily chores and sharing the burden, fatigue and stress can quickly set in. 

When one mother who had run herself ragged — caring for the baby and keeping the house in order — found herself in this situation, she took matters into her own hands. However, her actions caused a rupture in her relationship with her partner, and she took to Reddit to get the community's feedback on whether she had acted wrongly.

On Jan. 31, 2021, the mom recounted her situation as such:

"My husband and I have been together for 8 years, recently married (15 months ago). We have a 4-year-old son. For the past 3 years I have worked from home (such a god send), 12 hour shifts 4 days a week." 

She said her husband, who worked later in the day until 1 a.m., had faltered in his fatherly duties.

"Before this he would make dinner on his days off, take care of ALL of son's needs and do basic cleaning so that I could have a breather. Now he doesn't make dinner at all, falls asleep on the couch by 7 so I have son duty 24/7 and hasn't lifted a finger to clean in weeks. So on my 3 days off a week, I end up having to deep clean my entire house because I don't have time to do anything on my work days aside from the bare minimum," she lamented.

The mom went on to explain the inconsiderate actions of her husband that finally broke the camel's back. She said:

"2 weeks ago I asked him for some help. He happily obliged for all of 30 minutes before taking off to go help a buddy with his car and didn't do jack squat after returning home because he 'was tired.' I needed a break. I told him this. His way of comforting me was by hugging me and saying 'You're doing such a good job.' Didn't offer to help or anything. So, I made a plan."

The mom realized she needed some alone time to recharge her batteries. 

"Asked my mom to take my son for 4 days and planned a vacation for myself with work. I dropped my son off yesterday with my mom (I only did this because my husband obviously works) and took off to our cabin 58 miles away to relax," she said.

However, her husband didn't take too kindly to her actions.

"My husband started texting me last night asking where I was. I told him the cabin. He asked where our son was so I told him. He then started going off about how this is selfish of me and that if he had realized I wasn't merely stressed out that he would have helped out more. Used the argument that he too is stressed out and tired. He claims my communication on the issue was terrible and that I could have been more open and laid it out. Says that I'm an AH for taking a vacation without him because he 'could have used it too.' But the thing is, I straight out told him I needed a break. I asked him for help. He disregarded it all," she explained.

The Reddit community was quick to side with the worn-out mom and blasted her husband for being so ignorant.

"I'm so sick and tired of people saying OP sucks too for not communicating, but who tells her what needs to be done around the house or how to take care of a child. Does husband not have eyes? Can he not see what needs to be cleaned, tidied or cooked? Does he not know his child's needs?" one user wrote. 

Another responded, "Amen! Do these people think women are born knowing how to clean? That we have magical powers that allow us to spot dust? Men see these things, they just assume someone else will take care of it."

A third user wrote:

"Please, stop calling it 'Help.' You're both the parents? It's both of your responsibility to parent. You both live there? It's both your responsibility to keep it clean. You both eat? Both your responsibility to shop, cook and clean up after. Calling his participation 'help' implies that it is solely your job and anything he does is a bonus."

However, many users also took the mom to task for disappearing on her husband without a head's up.

"You should've left a note. Coming into an empty home when you expect to see your family there is terrifying. I would automatically go to red alert, and think someone was taken to the hospital," one comment read. Another user wrote, "You have no right to make a choice like that for your kid without telling your partner… scaring him like that is kind of selfish. You wanted to teach him a lesson? Now he's going to be less trusting of you. That might be all he takes away from this."

What do you think about the mother's decision to take a mini vacation? Should she have told her husband beforehand? Let us know your thoughts, and pass this on to friends and family to get their take on the situation, too.