Mom Is Heartbroken Her Own Family Kept News Of Her Daughter's Pregnancy Hidden From Her

Sep 08, 2023

A narcissistic personality disorder always presents problems in relationships as narcissists have disproportionate views of themselves and constantly need admiration. Narcissism is considered a mental disorder and is often marked by signs that include a lack of empathy and the inability to understand or care about the feelings of others. According to the Mayo Clinic, narcissists are usually unsure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism behind their mask of extreme confidence.

A woman with the username neglectedmother73 asked Redditors for advice in 2021 after getting upset about being blindsided by her daughter and family. Still, her post made many Redditors call her out for narcissistic tendencies. Neglectedmother73 shared that she needed answers about why her oldest child always hurt her badly, which was why she turned to Reddit.

“My daughter and I have always had a complicated relationship ever since she was a child,” the original poster (OP) revealed. “She was often strong-willed, overly confident and was frequently in trouble with her teachers for being too social during class. We often had to teach her manners and reinforce good behaviour while making sure she didn’t grow up to be too arrogant,” OP continued.

Neglectedmother73 also added that her daughter had mental health issues and was often delusional. Trouble started when her daughter got married and pregnant and didn’t want OP to visit her anymore.

“I told her she had broken my heart and I’ll give her what she wants then which is space,” the woman wrote. After her daughter gave birth, OP found out and tried to build a relationship with the child, but her daughter refused to let her connect with her grandchild. 

In addition to not letting her see her grandchild, OP’s daughter devised ways to tell her mom that she thought she was abusive. 

“She would send me elaborate Reddit posts claiming how abusive I was to her that bordered on dramatic and delusional,” the woman divulged. "She never wanted to be a mother I believe and that’s why she doesn’t want me to know my grandchildren."

The deeply hurt mother then tried to mend her relationship with her daughter and constantly reached out through letters online and offline, but her daughter shunned her efforts. 

“My heart is constantly broken but I don’t want her to think I’m not trying,” the woman shared. "It’s been six years since she’s spoke with me but friends and family usually updated me on how she is doing.”

However, when she found out from her ex-husband that her daughter was pregnant again and learned that her own sisters and mother kept her in the dark about her new grandson, she was distressed. She told her sisters that they had hurt her with their actions.

“I told them that they should have told my daughter that they wouldn’t keep her pregnancy a secret and exclude her mother since they would hopefully say that they love,” OP revealed.

However, neglectedmother73 didn’t get the response she expected.

“One of my sister’s told me I was some hurtful names and blocked me, while my other sister just ignored me,” she recounted.

She was even more shocked after she told them to respect her boundaries.

“My mother told me some more hurtful things, and that I am in the wrong. I don’t think I am, and I genuinely don’t understand where all this animosity towards me for just being a loving mother who tried her best came from,” the woman stated.

Redditors told the woman she was wrong, and many of them thought she had narcissistic tendencies.

“The fact that you’re not elaborating, gloss over her mental health, and this entire post has more me’s in it than a Nintendo Wii game is a glaring red flag that YTA,” someone scolded. “Your grandkids life is about THEM. Not about YOU. Seriously this thing reads like an entitled parent post…”

A second Redditor commented: “This post reads like it could have been written by my mother. My mother was abusive.”

A third user agreed and wrote: “Yeah, this twangs some chords and all of them are alarming AF. My grandmother could have written this and she profoundly damaged her 4 kids.”

“Making sure she didn’t grow up to be too arrogant” was the big red flag for me. There’s no possible way to interpret that where OP doesn’t come off as an a**hole,” another Redditor opined.

Meanwhile, some thought that the story seemed made up. 

“The fact that it reads so perfectly like the article, which was also clearly the “theme” of the lesbian daughter post yesterday, and the tattoo dad post today, tells me they’re all fake and part of the 'theme' this week,” a user suggested. “I’ve said it since this sub got to be huge: there is clearly someone running some psych studies on here on how forums react to different issues when variables are changed (mom vs a dad, adding LGBTQ issues to the equation, making it about bodily autonomy vs pregnancy, etc)."

However, someone countered them and wrote: “I wish I could agree with you that it’s fake, but it sounds like it was written by my delusional, selfish, narcissistic mother so… unfortunately people like this do exist. (Note: it’s not my mother, I don’t have kids).”

What do you think of this story? What do you think OP can do to restore her relationship with her daughter? Let us know — and be sure to pass this on to friends and family.