Mom Defies Ex-Husband’s Order Regarding Their Young Daughter Because She Wants Her To Be Happy

Oct 26, 2023

Ending a relationship is never easy for everyone involved. Divorces are an example of such situations, especially when children are involved. However, things may get more comfortable when there is love and consideration for the children involved. The kids can build genuine relationships with their stepparents in such cases. 

One situation many people often never consider, though, would be the kind of relationship that should exist between stepparents and their stepkids once the adults end their romance. Kids may have a more challenging time letting go once they have formed bonds with their parents’ partners. In such situations, parents may have to let go of their ego despite wanting to cut off contact with their former partners. 

This was the case with a woman who turned to the Reddit community in 2020 to ask for advice. The woman with the username AnteaterWorried shared her story and asked if she was right or wrong. The original poster (OP) had an 8-year-old daughter who loved her stepmother. OP didn’t mind their relationship, but her ex-husband didn’t want his daughter and her ex-stepmother to meet. 

“My ex and I have a daughter who is 8. When she was 2, my ex left me and ran off with another woman. She was barely legal and he was in his mid thirties. Their marriage fell apart last year,” OP shared.

The former stepmom loved OP’s daughter and wanted to see her after the divorce, but her ex said no. She then reached out to OP to ask for permission. 

“This woman was my daughter’s stepmom for 6 years and my daughter misses her very much and says she doesn’t even miss going her dad’s house because her stepmom isn’t there,” OP disclosed.

OP then contacted her ex for his consent, but he declined to approve the meeting since he was getting divorced from the other woman and didn’t “owe her anything.” He also didn’t listen when OP tried to reason with him. 

OP found a way for her daughter and the ex-stepmom to meet after school, and it worked well for the three. 

“This is also a great arrangement for me because I’m saving several hundred dollars a month on childcare,” OP said. 

She was also certain that her daughter was well taken care of, as the stepmom has always cared for her daughter more than her ex-husband. Moreover, the ex-stepmom was helping her daughter with her homework.

However, OP’s ex became furious when he learned about the arrangement, but OP countered him and told him she had the final say over what their daughter did while in her custody. She had also checked with a lawyer who assured her she was within her rights. 

Meanwhile, her ex-husband had regularly left their daughter with the ex-stepmom when they were together with no mishaps, so there wouldn’t be any problems. However, OP’s ex and some of their mutual friends thought she was in the wrong and being petty, but she didn’t share their sentiments. 

“I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong. I think it’s cruel to cut off our daughter’s step mom just because she’s divorcing him,” OP opined. 

She added an update to share that her daughter made a drawing of her parents that included OP and her ex-stepmom but not the dad. 

“Maybe I’m a little petty because I chuckled inside and made a scan for her stepmom. That picture is going to make me feel a lot better when my ex is being difficult,” OP added. 

Redditors applauded OP for putting her daughter’s interests first and assured her she did the right thing. 

“NTA dude,” something commented. “This is very cool of you. your daughter deserves postiive relationships and u support her which makes u a good person.”

Another user replied, “Agreed! The only thing the ex did right was find someone that really loved his daughter, and that’s evident as not everyone would volunteer their time like that unless there’s love involved. So I’d like to echo that, GO TEAM MOMS!”

A third Redditor opined, “NTA. Super awesome for your daughter to not loose this relationship. My only caution would be to ensure this gal does not badmouth her father to her.”

Another Redditor answered: 

“NTA. I’m glad you are able to have a civil relationship with the ex step mom. It’s doesn’t sound like she wants time with your daughter solely to spite your ex - so long as that is the case then I’d be all for it.

It’s fantastic that she took her parenting seriously enough where she seems to love your daughter and care that your daughter doesn’t have an important figure in her life abruptly disappear.

It is never wrong to have more people in your child’s life who truly care about them and love them.” 

Another user wrote:

“NTA

‘my ex and some of our mutual friends say I’m being unreasonable and petty and poisoning the relationship.’

Absolutely not. Your daughter likes this woman and sees her as another mother. You are doing right by your daughter, while your ex is trying to punish this woman even if it hurts your daughter. All three of the women in this scenario sound like you’d be better off without him.”

What do you think of OP’s decision? Do you think she was right? Have you experienced a similar situation? Let us know — and be sure to pass this on to friends and family.