Mom Asks If She’s Wrong For ‘Humiliating’ Her Son After Knowing About His Misogynistic Behavior Toward His Wife

Dec 20, 2021

A 60-year-old mother became so angry she acted out in a big way after finding out that her son was doing nothing to help his wife with their home or three children. The daughter-in-law, aged 32, and the son, 33, have three kids aged 3, 2 and 4-months. 

When they first started their family, the son convinced his wife to sell her business so she could be a stay-at-home mom. She agreed because he said that his childhood was great due to his own mother staying home. What he failed to mention was that his parents split the care of their children and household in the hours his father wasn’t working and his mom would take Sundays to herself. 

At first, when the mother-in-law noticed that there was a problem bothering her daughter-in-law, she wanted to do something nice for her and so she paid for the couple to go for a spa day. The day of the trip the daughter-in-law called her and said that she would not be going to the spa because her husband’s friends were in town and she needed to stay home with the kids while they went to a bar. This was when the daughter-in-law finally came clean about the imbalance of responsibility and that it was taking a toll on her mental health. 

This drove the mother-in-law to go down to the bar and publicly humiliate her son in front of his friends and the rest of the patrons. She caused such a scene that she was banned from returning to the establishment. The mother-in-law went on to Reddit after it happened to see if others thought she was in the wrong for acting the way she did. 

There are nearly three thousand comments on the mother-in-law’s post and almost everyone agreed that she did the right thing. One person wrote, “It sounds like your misogynistic son needed some humiliation and to have someone stick their nose into his marriage. It's not like you are a stranger - you are his mother. Also, this is not a minor thing, this is your son treating his wife like a servant, not a spouse.”

Others went as far as to call her a hero. A commenter wrote, “You are a hero disguised as a mother-in-law.” to which another person responded: “Seriously! She also has a genuine interest in the welfare of her grandchildren! Burnt out moms aren’t nice to grow up with! So glad the daughter-in-law knows that her mother-in-law had her back! It will benefit everyone in the long run!”

Some others felt that she was right to tell off her son but not in public. “I feel like it's definitely appropriate for her to lecture her son about not treating his wife properly, but storming into the bar might have been more than was needed at the time. A phone call that goes along the lines of ‘we need to talk. Now,’ would probably have been better,” wrote another Redditor.

The consensus was that she was acting as a good mom and mother-in-law. Another comment read, “Your son had the audacity to cancel a spa trip you paid for so he could go get drunk with his friends. How dare he. Any good mum tells their kids off when disrespecting their partner. Your daughter-in-law is doing everything for that family, and she definitely didn't deserve the humiliation of her husband dictating she can't go out because he wants to.”

The award-winning activist and writer Elizabeth Arif-Fear, who is also the founder and director of ‘Voice of Salam,’ commented on the importance of equality in the household. She said, “A woman should not be expected to be responsible for the home just because she is a woman. A couple needs to discuss chores based on working hours outside of the home and any other caring responsibilities that affect schedules and workloads,”

Arif-Fear also gave hands-on advice on how to split up the work. She added, “On a practical level if a couple is committed to an equal level of partnership, drawing up a chore timetable can be useful, as can designating roles by working out who does what based on their likes and strengths.”

Another common misconception in society is that being a stay-at-home mom is not real work. “In today’s world, looking after the home and/or children is a full-time job in itself and such work needs to be shared. Families often have to rely on two incomes and women have the right to pursue professional goals—something which their spouse should encourage as part of an equal partnership,” Arif-Fear explained.

Arif-Fear made it clear that a woman needs to have her voice be heard and respected if she does not want to be stuck with all of the housework. She added, “Spouses must be equal in opportunities and shared duties. As working patterns have shifted with the economy in the past decades, outdated sexist attitudes also need to shift. A woman's role is where she wants to be—just like a man’s.”

Do you think the mother-in-law in this story was right to humiliate her son? Do you agree that the son should be doing more to help his wife? Let us know your opinion and be sure to send this on to your loved ones.