Michael Landon Felt Guilty Over His Daughter Cheryl Landon Wilson: 'If She Didn’t Exist, I Wouldn’t Feel All This Pain'

Jul 06, 2021

Although his name lives on as a beloved television actor, Michael Landon wasn't raised in show business. Born as Eugene Maurice Orowitz on October 31, 1936, in a suburb of Queens, New York, to a Jewish father and Roman Catholic mother, Michael was raised Jewish. He celebrated his Bar Mitzvah at Temple Beth Shalom and spent a lot of time preparing for the big event.

But unfortunately, the rest of his childhood was not always an easy or pleasant one. During his youth, his mother attempted suicide on multiple occasions, including one time in which she tried to drown herself but was rescued by Michael. Soon after, she pretended as if nothing had happened, causing young Michael to vomit. The continued suicide attempts and constant stress and anxiety led Michael to develop a bedwetting problem. To make matters worse, his mother would hang up his bedsheets near the window for all to see, prompting Michael to run home from school in order to take them down before any of his classmates would see.

However, one bright spot was Michael's sporting abilities, particularly in the track and field sport of javelin throwing. In 1954, while he was in high school, Michael threw a 193 ft 4 in toss that was recorded as the longest throw by a high school student in the U.S. that year. His abilities led to an athletic scholarship at the University of Southern California; however, after some time there, injuries would end both his sporting and academic days. But as he was already in Los Angeles, Michael decided to give show business a go.

During his successful "Bonanza" and "Little House on the Prairie" career, Landon also had a large family. One of his daughters, Cheryl, struggled with drugs, and in a 1983 interview with The Washington Post, Michael Landon spoke candidly about his feelings towards his stepdaughter. 

As the '50s were on their way out, Michael Landon landed what would become one of his most iconic roles — Little Joe Cartwright on "Bonanza." The show became a huge success as one of the first series to be broadcast in color. Michael appeared on all 14 seasons of the show, which ran from 1959 to 1973. In the middle of its run, around 1964-1965, "Bonanza" topped the Nielson ratings and stayed there for three years.

By this point, Michael was a household name, and he had spent the majority of his 20s and half of his 30s working on "Bonanza." But rather than taking some time off when the show ended in 1973, Michael got straight back to work — and landed himself a major role in another iconic series, "Little House on the Prairie." 

After "Little House on the Prairie" ended in the early '80s, Michael went on to appear in yet another well-received show titled "Highway to Heaven." He also worked on movies outside of these three hit shows, but they contribute the most to his iconic acting legacy. However, sadly, Michael's story came to an early end at the age of 54 on July 1, 1991, after he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer just three months earlier. Before passing away from the disease, he went public with his diagnosis on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson."

Whether appearing as part of famous TV families or having his own large number of children, for Michael, family was everything.

Beyond his acting legacy, Michael would leave behind a large family. Fathering nine children to three different women, Michael adopted his first two children when he married Dodie Levy-Fraser, as she had two young boys of her own — Mark Fraser Landon and Josh Fraser Landon.

After getting divorced, Michael married Lynn Noe, and the couple had five children together — a daughter that Michael adopted from Noe's first marriage named Cheryl Lynn Landon and four biological children named Leslie Ann Landon, Michael Landon Jr., Shawna Leigh Landon, and Christopher Beau Landon. Then in his third marriage to Cindy Clerico, who was a makeup artist on "Little House on the Prairie," Michael had Jennifer Rachel Landon and Sean Matthew Landon.

However, Michael's daughter Cheryl would end up having drug problems throughout her life. In fact, she even almost died of an overdose at the age of 19. In a 1983 interview with The Washington Post, Michael spoke openly about his daughter Cheryl and her drug problems He said:

"I suspected it during her last two years of high school. Then she went to the University of Arizona. And I used all the excuses; no matter what she told me I would believe because I wanted to believe."

Michael felt guilty about the thoughts he had on his daughter Cheryl. He said in the interview:

"You get very guilty about some of the feelings you have about your own child, one of which is, 'I wish she did not exist. If she didn't exist, I wouldn't feel all this pain.'"

After Michael's death in 1991, Cheryl went on to write a book titled "I Promised My Dad: An Intimate Portrait of Michael Landon."

As Michael didn't have much time to actively spread awareness of pancreatic cancer — although speaking openly about his diagnosis on live television with Johnny Carson was a major moment in which he brought attention to the disease — his children are doing so in honor of him now. They say that it will always be an important issue for them to campaign for and that it's one way for them to stay connected with their father.

What do you think about Michael Landon's relationship with his daughter? Let us know, and be sure to pass this on to other Michael Landon fans!