Man Slammed Online For Refusing To Buy His ‘Low Maintenance’ Girlfriend A $10K Engagement Ring

Aug 02, 2023

Getting engaged is a momentous occasion. In American culture, engagement rings are an important part of the wedding process. Often, a groom-to-be will spend a lot of time and money trying to find the perfect ring for his future partner. While a lot of people love splurging on an expensive ring to show how important it is, some people are more practical.

In the case of a man who sought the help of people on the AITA Thread on Reddit in October 2021, he was wondering if he was in the wrong for actually refusing to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring worth $10,000. 

In a relationship for four years already, the Original Poster (OP) wrote to the thread and described that his girlfriend had grown up “relatively well off.” 

“For the time I’ve known her she’s been pretty low maintenance. She’s never cared about designer brands, rarely buys new clothes, and the jewellery she owns was gifted to her. I have a decent job now (80k a year) and I’ve been saving for awhile, but growing up my family didn’t have a lot of money,” he explained. 

According to OP, he and his girlfriend “seemed to be” on the same page when it comes to saving and spending money. He assumed that she would be fine getting a “more affordable” ring for their engagement. This is because when she looked into rings, she discovered moissanite rings, and he seemed to be convinced that the $1,500 – $1,800 price range would be apt for her.  

As soon as OP mentioned it to his girlfriend, she did the opposite of what he expected initially.

According to OP, his girlfriend insisted that she wanted a real diamond ring instead and sent OP some links to the diamond rings she liked. Upon checking, the rings ranged from $6,500 – $10,000 — way beyond his intended price range. 

“I told her that I wasn’t willing to spend that much. She seemed genuinely mad and said it wasn’t “that expensive” We got in a pretty big argument over it. I told her that it was ridiculous to ask me to spend that much and that I thought she was more reasonable than that,” he wrote. 

The girlfriend retaliated, telling OP that he was being “cheap,” insisting that he could afford it, and he "was basically saying she wasn’t worth it. I told her no one is worth a 10,000 ring,” OP added. 

Eventually, OP’s girlfriend said she didn’t care anymore and that he should just get whatever ring he wanted. However, OP noted that his girlfriend is “clearly still mad” at him and knew then on that it would be an ongoing argument. 

“I’m a bit frustrated because this seems out of left field. I’ve always known marriage is super important to her but I didn’t realize she’d insist on a diamond ring,” he went on to say. 

OP talked to his sister about the argument, but his sister sided with the girlfriend. “She added that my GF has done 'so much' for me, and I was being an a**hole about this,” he recalled. 

Turns out, the girlfriend really had done “so much” for OP. She was “really supportive” after OP’s car accident, to the point that she paid for his living expenses, including rent and physical therapy, while he was still recovering. In fact, she even helped OP land a job with her own uncle.  

According to OP, he has thanked his girlfriend for all that she did for him, but he noted that it’s not something that they talk about that much. 

While OP thought that many would get behind him, it was the opposite of what he anticipated. Instead of getting affirmations and reassurance, the Redditors on the thread unanimously gave him a reality check.

“YTA. She is typically low maintainance and agreeable. She supported you and stepped up when you needed her without complaint. She had asked for this one thing you find unreasonable, but can afford... it's something she is going to wear every day for the rest of her life,” one user suggested.

“YTA a bit. Your thoughts seemed reasonable until you told the part of the story where you lived off her for months and she covered your expenses. Get the ring she wants and apologize for not seeing it sooner,” someone wrote. 

“Ok I’m sorry but YTA. You are asking this woman who did all that for you to spend the rest of her life with you. But you are not willing to grant her this one wish she has even though you can afford it?” one said. 

While many pointed out OP was unreasonable for not buying a ring with that price which he could afford, some Redditors highlighted the fact that he said she wasn’t worth a $10,000 ring. 

“YTA because you literally told her she wasn’t worth $10,000 which is a really shitty thing to say to someone you want to spend your life with regardless of the context,” someone commented.

“YTA you telling her she is not worth $10,000 is rude and dismissive- if you truly believe this, break up with her, you’ll be doing her a favor,” another supported. 

Do you think OP was in the wrong? What do you think he should do instead? Let us know, and pass this on to your friends and family!