Man Kicks His Grandma’s Partner She Found After Late Husband Out Of His Home For Expressing His Views

Sep 13, 2023

Family relationships can be complicated if not managed well. Introducing new members can also cause family relations to deteriorate if it is not handled correctly. A man with the username dbudnick4905 who had known his grandparents for all of his life found his life upended after his grandma introduced a new partner and took to Reddit in February 2023 to ask for opinions about his actions.

“My grandma and grandpa have both been in my (27 M) life since I was born,” the original poster (OP) shared. “They’ve always been supporting and loving of me through some tough times.”

OP revealed that after his grandfather died some months before his post, his grandmother receded into her shell until she found a new partner. 

“While it was confusing at first I understand how lonely it must have been for my grandmother. She was married for over 50 years and never spent a night alone,” he explained.

Although OP had never met his grandma’s partner, he concluded from the stories he heard about him that the man had anger issues and could be irrational. He noted that his dad and his grandma’s first husband had been that way, too. However, his grandmother didn’t adhere to his reservations as she only seemed to want someone to keep her company in old age.

“Well, I was having a New Year’s Eve party recently and invited my family — aunt, uncle, cousins, and my grandmother,” OP shared. “It’s about a two hour drive away to my home as we live in different cities so I was appreciative to hear they were coming.”

He revealed that everyone came for the party, but his grandma’s partner had towed along without his knowledge.

“I decided to brush it off but admittedly wasn’t the happiest,” he confessed.

OP was gay and lived with his partner. Most of his friends were also gay. Meanwhile, his family members, including his late grandfather, knew about it and supported him. However, OP noticed that his grandmother’s partner was uncomfortable. 

“I ended up approaching him at some point in the night and asked him point blank if he was comfortable with gay people,” OP revealed. “He said while he’s not against ‘the idea of homosexuality, I don’t think they should be able to get married.’ At this point I told him he needed to leave.”

OP then shared his reasons with Redditors. 

“Number one is he was never invited to my home in the first place,” he said. “Number two, if he was going to be in my home it is required that he respect my relationship as legitimate (meaning equal).” 

OP’s third reason was that he didn’t owe his grandma’s partner anything, and he definitely wasn’t required to be courteous to someone he didn’t want in his life. 

“If it was a friend’s partner I would have done the same thing,” he admitted.

OP shared that his grandmother’s partner lost his temper when asked to leave. “He called me childish and left in a huff with my grandma following him out, not returning for the rest of the night. While I didn’t want my grandmother to leave I felt like I did what I needed to do in order to feel comfortable in my own home,” he added.

He explained that his cousins thought he did the right thing, but his uncle, with whom he had a great relationship, thought he should have been more courteous for his grandmother’s sake as he didn’t get to spend time with his grandmother that night.

Redditors were divided over OP’s actions, as some thought he was within his right to kick out an unwanted and controversial visitor. However, others believed that OP deliberately provoked a man who wouldn’t have said anything otherwise. Some also thought that OP wasn’t wrong, but he could have handled the situation better than he did.

“NTA. I think Uncle is right, OP could have handled it better and prioritized spending time with his beloved Grandma but kicking someone out of your house who wasn’t invited and is bigoted towards your lifestyle is not wrong. Info: was he doing anything besides looking uncomfortable or did you just walk up to him and ask him if gay people made him uncomfortable? Is it possible he was uncomfortable possibly being in a room full of people he doesn’t know besides your grandma?” someone asked. 

A second redditor commented, “NTA. It’s 2023. There’s literally no excuse for homophobia anymore. Plenty of old people aren’t homophobic and age isn’t an excuse to be an a**h**e. He can get with the times or be banned from your home. Personally, I’m all for the latter. Grandma dating a homophobe when you’re gay yourself also makes her the AH.”

“Id say ESH. Although he clearly has his own opinions which i don’t agree with, he wasn’t acting on anything. He was most likely there to please your grandmother and i’m sure he disliked being there as much as you did. I agree with your uncle in you should've waited it out for your grandmother especially if you really love her. But at the end of the day it is your house and your decision 🤷‍♂️,” a third Redditor opined.

“YTA. He didn’t express any opinions until asked. You went looking for trouble,” another person said.

What do you think of OP’s position? Should he have extended courtesy to his grandma’s partner because of his grandma? Let us know — and be sure to pass this on to friends and family.