Man Criticized For Bringing ‘Shame’ To Family By Living With His Fiancée Snaps Back At His Hypocritical Parents

Sep 21, 2023

In a child’s formative years, parents influence values that may mold the child at certain points in their lives. However, there is no telling if a child will follow through with these values or develop their own as they advance into adulthood. When a child goes against their parents' values, it usually causes friction between both parties. In one such case, Reddit user @u/SupermarketFair3341, in a December 2022 post, detailed how he brought up his parents' past when they criticized him for living with his fiancée.

The original poster (OP) started the post by revealing that he was a nurse practitioner who worked alongside other medical practitioners to create a healthy experience for mothers in the different stages of maternity. He revealed that he lived with his fiancée, who was rounding up her residency, and although they had plans to get married, their earlier plans didn’t work out due to their busy schedules. While this arrangement worked for OP, his religious parents were totally against it.

“It is driving my very religious parents crazy that their youngest son is living in sin. I don't really care. I'm an adult, and I do what I want. We are getting married in June,” he wrote.

For the holidays, OP revealed that he and his fiancée joined his siblings and their children at his parents’ house for the festivities. When the entire family was gathered for dinner, his mom brought up a conversation about their upcoming wedding, stating that she was delighted that they were finally getting married as their living arrangement had brought her shame amongst church folks. OP’s dad stressed his mom’s point, stating that he was proud of his older children for either getting married before moving in together or doing so right after moving in together. 

The trajectory of the conversation left the OP’s fiancée uncomfortable, and the frequency with which it was brought up made him angry. Seeing that he had asked them repeatedly to let that topic go without any success, OP decided to get back at his parents. 

To do so, he brought up a conversation about a preterm baby he had read about. He shared that although the baby was born three months early, weighing 1.6 pounds, it was strong and healthy, so much so that the NICU staff had no doubt that the baby would do well. The OP’s parents, knowing where the story was headed, wore a look of shock on their faces.

“So I asked about my oldest brother. He was born almost four months premature. Is there a chance that we could check out the family album where we keep all the records of family births and stuff,” he questioned.

“I already know my brother was over 9 pounds and almost 23" long when he was born. My grandmother told me all about it the first time my parents tried to shame me,” he added.

Needless to say, OP won his parents at their own game as they quickly changed the topic to something else. However, after the dinner, his parents warned him off embarrassing them with details of their private lives that weren't his business. OP, knowing he had hit them where it hurt, promised to bring it back up if they continued talking about his living arrangement with his fiancée.

“I told them that if I heard anything about my living arrangements ever again for the rest of my life I would make sure to keep bringing up the FACT that my mom was in her second trimester when they got married,” he wrote.

Readers on the platform took to the comment section to drop their opinions on the post, with most of the comments commending OP for how he handled the situation.

“NTA. That was beautifully handled. You didn't call them out and embarrass them. But you stood your ground. I did laugh out loud when you said where you got your blackmail information. Grandma had that in her pocket for a long time I'm guessing. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Merry Christmas and I hope you have a great New Year,” one Redditor wrote.

“NTA. My Grammy used to say, "The first baby (after marriage) can come anytime, the second one always takes 9 months." Next time they give you guys grief, discuss how comfortable the back seat of your dad's old car was,” a second Redditor commented.

“NTA - They deserved that for their hypochristianity,” a third user commented.

“NTA I absolutely love this! My own judgy grandmother pretended to be oh so 'moral' (in the old fashioned sense). My father accidentally revealed that she was pregnant when she got married to my grandfather. That was incorrect, she wasn't pregnant at all. My oldest uncle was about 7 months old when they got married, lmao. And why they couldn't get married sooner? My grandfather had to get divorced from his first wife first… It's often the people with most things to hide who enjoy judging others for things that are none of their business,” another wrote.

“I was absolutely lost when you said his size and weight at four months premature Then I had a ding, ding, ding, shining light on the road to Damascus moment and very much laughed as I realised what you'd done. Well played, well played indeed. NTA,” another commented.

What do you think of OP bringing up his parents' past to stop them from talking about his living arrangement with his fiancée? Do you think that was the best way to handle it? What would you have done if you were in a similar position? Let us know — and be sure to pass this article on to friends, family members, and other people you think would have an answer!