Joe Mantegna Felt ‘Strengthened’ By Caring For Autistic Daughter With His Wife Of 47 Years

Jul 21, 2023

Joe Mantegna is an American actor best known for his roles in the TV series "Criminal Minds" and the film "The Godfather Part III." He has been working as an actor since the late 1960s. A skilled performer, Joe also has great talents as a producer and director. On top of that, Joe is also a devoted husband and father of two.

Joe was born on Nov. 13, 1947, in Chicago, Illinois. He comes from an Italian-American family and takes pride in his family's heritage. He went on to attend the Goodman School of Drama at the Art Institute of Chicago, now known as DePaul University and graduated in 1969. The aspiring star first found a small bout of success in the music industry and is even friends with the original members of the band Chicago. 

Later, Joe worked as a film industry photographer before finally showing off his acting skills. His career started off with a bang, as he won a Tony Award for Best Featured Actor in a Play for his part in "Hair." He also won a Joseph Jefferson Award for his role in "Glengarry Glen Ross." Joe continued to find great success in the world of theater before eventually shifting his career direction toward film and television.

As successful and fulfilling as this theater work was, perhaps Joe's more younger viewers will recognize the actor for his work in front of the camera. Some of Joe's biggest box office hits when he finally assumed the position of leading man include "Three Amigos" and "Up Close and Personal."

Over time, Joe has starred in theater productions, films and television shows, with one of his most famous roles being as FBI Supervisory Special Agent David Rossi in "Criminal Minds." The uncharacteristic role truly skyrocketed Joe to fame and cemented him as a household name.

The show had been a fan favorite among weeknight audiences and fans of police procedural crime dramas for several years. "Criminal Minds" aired from 2005 to 2020 before airing what was thought to be its 15th and last season. However, a 16th season called "Criminal Minds: Evolution" that comprised 10 episodes aired in November 2022 on Paramount+. 

Although Joe was not part of the show's original line-up, he quickly became a fan favorite with his charming and honest personality both behind the scenes and in front of the camera and was a main character from 2007 to 2020. His character, a special-agent-turned-writer, often struggles with a dramatic personal life, having a number of ex-wives that cause him some degree of grief. 

Off-screen, Joe is a devoted family man. Unlike Agent Rossi, Joe has proven to be a stand-up guy and doting father. He has been married to his wife, Arlene Vrhel, since October 1975. The couple has two daughters together named Mia Mantegna and Gia Mantegna. Gia is an actress best known for her role as Devin Levin on the sitcom "The Middle." She has also acted alongside her father in "Uncle Nino." Joe's oldest daughter Mia was born in 1987 and has autism – something that the actor has worked to spread awareness on throughout his career.

Joe and Vrhel have been married now for 47 years, with Vrhel supporting her husband through the pursuit of his dreams. Both from the Chicago area, the two started dating in 1969 and married in 1975. Two years later, they relocated to Los Angeles for Joe's career. 

Finding more success on stage than on scene, Vrhel found herself cooking cast dinners for her husband's castmates. “I don’t know how to cook for two,” Vrhel revealed to the Chicago Tribune in 1986. “It’s always for eight or 10.”

Vrhel's own dreams of opening a restaurant had to wait. After they'd started a family, Joe had seen some commercial success. After that, the couple decided to finally open the eatery Taste Chicago.

The Burbank grub spot served "Italian beef sandwiches, deep dish pizza, and Vienna Beef hotdogs in a poppy seed bun," as well as other comfort foods that the couple had grown to love back home. In a Facebook post, Mantegna wrote:

"I salute my wife Arlene as over 15 years ago she had a dream to open a place that would provide great Chicago-themed. food, a friendly atmosphere, and a lifetime of memories for both patrons and staff."

He continued, with glowing praise, "I couldn't be prouder of that accomplishment. In a world where many walk in the shadows, she has always been the light." 

Taste Chicago closed in 2019 after over a decade of business. With their restaurateur days past, the couple now focuses on charity work, as always, with each other at their side. 

Mia was diagnosed with autism after her parents suspected something amiss about her speech pattern and attention span when she was a toddler. Joe said the diagnosis felt “like somebody shot a cannonball into your chest.” 

However, the loving parents did all they could to learn about the condition and support Mia. For Joe, this meant never being away from her for too long, so if he ever had to relocate temporarily for an acting job, the whole gang came with him. “We thought if we were going to face this, let’s all face it together. Let’s do this as a family,” he said. 

One of Joe’s top priorities has always been to support his autistic daughter Mia. One way he and his wife did that was to ensure Mia learned to be independent to some degree. He told Ability magazine:

“It’s always been our intent as parents to get her out in the world, so she can learn to cope. We know there are obstacles to overcome, but at the end of the day, she’ll be better prepared to continue on in her life probably for many years, well beyond when either her mother or I will be around to help. So, it’s important that we give her all the tools and help we can now.”

He added being an actor in the entertainment industry also had positive effects on Mia as it “is such a public profession.” 

“There are not many shrinking violets. So you’re talking about people with a lot of personality and energy and putting that energy out there. It’s probably a positive thing for my daughter Mia, because it’s a dynamic environment where there’s a lot of stimulus and interaction.”

In line with this, they gave Mia the opportunity to become a bookkeeper at Taste Chicago when it was open. Mia is also part of Inclusion Films, a group that teaches film-making skills to those with developmental disabilities. There, she works as a makeup artist. While Mia is thriving today, it was a challenging road at the start. 

He told Ability after receiving Mia’s diagnosis, he had a choice to make. “One choice is to surrender and whine, ‘Woe is me,’ and see the glass as half empty. Or you pull yourself together and see the glass as half full. And you ask yourself, ‘How do we try to maybe fill it up a little more?’”

Despite the challenges that come with raising a child with autism, Joe’s sense of gratitude allowed him to push through the hard times. “I don’t care how successful you are, who you are, or what walk of life you come from, everyone has their own story of problems and challenges. If having a child with a disability is the worst thing that has happened to me in my life, then so be it. I’ve been lucky in many respects,” he explained.

He added that in “some ways, you’re strengthened by these kinds of challenges in life. If you can’t totally overcome them, just make the best of the situation.”

Joe also had another daughter, Gia, born two and a half years after Mia, on whom he showered high praise for understanding her sister’s condition.

“At a very young age, Gia understood that her older sister was a lot different than the other kids. Gia sensed that she had to take the reins and grow up a little faster. She’s become Mia’s protector, her guardian and even her teacher,” Joe remarked.

In 2022, Joe starred in the comedy-drama television series called “As You See It.” The show revolves around three roommates on the spectrum as they navigate their first time living away from home as they enter college. Joe played the father of one of the roommates, a role that mirrored his real life as the father of an autistic child. The series also broke barriers by casting only those on the autism spectrum in real life to depict characters who had the condition on the show. Speaking to Page Six about the show, Joe said:

“I’ve been asked in the past, ‘What’s it like to have a daughter with autism?’ And my answer always is, ‘I don’t know what it’s like not to have a daughter with autism. Of course, I have my wife and I have my other daughter (Gia). So the four of us make this family, and that’s our dynamic.”

“As You See It” follows the three main characters in their early 20s as they not only learn to live independently but also go through the trials and tribulations of life, such as falling in love, making friends and keeping jobs. With autism on the rise in the United States, there now exists far more institutional and community support when it comes to those living with the condition. This was something Joe did not have back when Mia was first diagnosed.

“There wasn’t a lot of information, wasn’t a lot of support groups,” Joe said. “But a lot has changed in the last 30-plus years. At the end of the day, autism is not going to go anywhere. It’s part of the tapestry of the world. And that’s just one aspect of it in this show.”

Today, autism spectrum disorders are more common than childhood cancers, diabetes and AIDS combined. While there are more channels for those caring for people with the condition to seek support than before, more can still be done to create awareness about the issue. In light of this, Joe has thrown his support behind charitable groups and organizations actively promoting autism awareness. He told Ability:

“My feeling is, if it helps put a face on these kinds of organizations, why wouldn’t I (support it)? There are a lot of people less fortunate than I am. I have the means and the capability to take care of my daughter. Many people have it a lot tougher. So when I’m asked by these organizations to devote some time and energy to helping them reach some of their goals, I’m glad to do it.”

Joe is also a strong proponent of the U.S. Armed Forces and co-hosts a Memorial Day concert with actor Gary Sinise every year. In 2011, he hosted the Autism Care and Treatment Today!’s annual Charity Golf Classic Tournament in Westlake, California, to help raise funds for children of military personnel with autism. In June 2023, he and “Desperate Housewives” actress Eva Longoria were named co-chairs of Morgan’s Ambassadors, a group of celebrity advocates who support the Morgan’s Inclusion Initiative of San Antonio. The Morgan’s Inclusion Initiative is a non-profit that creates spaces, such as theme parks, for those with special needs. Its founder, Gordon Hartman said Joe and Longoria have “witnessed firsthand how our inclusive environments can change lives for the better, and they have agreed to help us spread the word about the power of inclusion.”

Joe also lends his support to the Barbara Sinatra Children’s Center, Easter Seals Chicago and Tutor/Mentor Connection. For Joe, putting in the effort to help such organizations was a no-brainer.

“Why shouldn’t I? Why wouldn’t I? The older you get, the more you realize we are a community. We’re talking about the world. We’re just this planet spinning around with people on it. Just try to get through it. Do what you can. Be nice to each other and hope for the best. It’s not a perfect world. It’s not like the movies where they live happily ever after and everything’s perfect all the time. But it’s okay. You just do the best you can and move forward. That’s what we live by, and that’s been fine,” he told Brain World magazine.

Due to his experiences with Mia, Joe is keen to stress that more has to be done for those with autism well past their childhood. “These children only stay children for just so many years. In fact, only about an eighth of their life. What do you do with these people for the other seven-eighths of their life? It doesn’t go away,” he remarked.

As Joe and his wife continue to care for Mia, the actor shared his advice to those facing challenges in their lives in an interview with Kara Mayer Robinson in November 2022. He said:

“Life is going to be a rollercoaster, so just get used to it. It's going to go up, and it's going to go down because it's going to be the yin and yang. The trick is to hang onto the rollercoaster so you get through the curves, and then it smooths out.”

How do you feel about the way Joe Mantegna has dealt with his daughter's autism? Do you find his parenting style inspiring? Let us know — and be sure to pass this article on to friends, family, and any Mantegna fans!