Internet Gangs Up On ‘Rude’ Woman For Refusing To Chip In For Her Friend’s Wedding

Oct 07, 2024

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Weddings are special events that signify the start of a marriage. It is the celebration of two individuals from varying backgrounds coming together to unite, start a family, live together and ultimately make decisions together. A beautiful wedding event doesn't just happen; it results from months of planning, possible cancellations, strategies, and organization. Planning a wedding is not a walk in the park, as many things could go wrong before the main event. There are usually many decisions to be made on every detail of the event, making it a particularly stressful process for everyone involved. 

Reddit user WatchRainFeelFire had a similarly hard time due to a dilemma about her close friend's wedding. The Original Poster (OP) took to the AITA Thread on Reddit and wondered whether she was in the wrong for refusing to help her friend with her upcoming wedding. 

"She is struggling financially, and they have asked that instead of wedding gifts, people can donate to parts of their wedding ceremony (theres a registry and everything, like "table flowers" and stuff). I know she's trying to save as much money as possible for certain reasons unrelated to the wedding. But I just don't think it's right for me to be helping her out with the costs at this time," OP explained. She further clarified that she also had financial issues as she was an aspiring doctorate student and was writing a memoir. 

OP also elaborated that she couldn't assist her friend financially as she was struggling to keep up with her own finances. She also pointed out that her close friend's fiancé had a job and that he could get another one if they really needed more money. 

The OP also mentioned in her post that when she tried to explain her financial situation to her close friend, her friend still insisted that she help out "even a little." 

"My friend got really mad at me and said that I was selfish, and that she expected more from me," OP said.

Apparently, OP's friend was infuriated because their circle of friends "all pledged to help pay for each others weddings back in college." The bride even mentioned that she gave OP $550 on her wedding, insisting that she could at least give $20. 

"She is also threatening to tell our group of friends, just because all of them contributed to my wedding - but she completely ignores the fact that my marriage didn't last even one year," OP complained. 

In the end, OP's other friends sent her $100 to give to their friend, but she said that she was rationing it for other upcoming weddings, too, including her future second one. She eventually offered $5 first, before offering $50 after not hearing back from her for a long time. Eventually, the bride got upset and disinvited her from the wedding altogether. 

"Idk what she expects literally more than double what she asked for, and it isn't enough?" OP said. "I don't want to lose her friendship, and I really don't want her to tell our friends - my financial situation is private. More importantly, I also don't want to be taken advantage of. AITA for not wanting to help pay for her wedding?"

In the comments, everyone agreed that the OP was in the wrong for refusing to help her close friend, especially after the friend had helped her enormously with her own first wedding. 

"YTA. She contributed $550 to your wedding that didn't even last a year, the least you could do is help with at least $100, or volunteer to help with the wedding such as clean up etc. You said her fiance can get an extra job, why can't you get a job?. Seems like you're just lazy and not even a good friend," a user posted.

"YTA for so many reasons, but I'm just going to highlight the fact that you think her helping you pay for your wedding is irrelevant because you couldn't make your marriage work? Did I read that right?" another commented.

"She helped pay for yours and you can't even swing $20? YTA," one said. 

"YTA. You had me in the first half, not gonna lie. Crowdfunded weddings seem tacky as hell. But she helped pay for your wedding! Refusing to do the same is incredible rude. And if, as you say, you and your friends had this deal (weird!), going back on your word makes you a real AH and your friends should know that you don't keep your word," another echoed. 

Some Redditors even sarcastically suggested to the OP what title she should choose for her upcoming memoir.

"YTA. What's the title of your memoir? "Broken Promises: I Got Mine, Screw You" by Abad Friend. You've decided to renege on your promise of helping your friend to pay for her wedding. You won't even pay $20. And this is despite her having paid $550 towards your wedding," another user wrote. 

"I have a title for your memoir: 'I AM the a*****e'" another suggested. 

What do you think of the OP's dilemma? What would you have done if you were in her shoes? Let us know, and pass this on to your family, friends, and other loved ones!