I’m Sorry, But I Don‘t Think You Deserve Me Anymore
Feb 24, 2019
My sweetheart,
I'm halfway gone. In my heart, I understand that I will miss you. I'll remember all the good times that we had and all the love that we shared. I will miss the feeling of your loving and warm body next to mine every night.
I'm going to remember how perfectly our hands fit together and miss it. However, I have made up my mind. I don't think that there is anything you could do or say to change it. You could try to stop me, but it won't work. My heart is full of pure intentions.
I still love you. It's not that I don't. In fact, I will love you forever. Your name will echo in the back of my mind for the rest of my life. You are always going to have a place somewhere inside of me. Unfortunately, I don't think that I have room for you in my life anymore. It doesn't matter how I feel. This relationship must end.
I'm always the one forgiving you and trying to make things work. I have tried to walk a mile in your shoes to better understand where you're coming from. My heart won't allow me to do it anymore. I can't take it. I seem to always find excuses for your actions, but your behavior is inexcusable.
It feels like I'm the only one trying here. My forgiving heart kept our relationship going. If I felt awful about something that happened between us, I would feel alright after some time had passed.
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I told myself pretty lies. All I wanted to do was believe in your excuses. I did this because I thought that things would change. In my mind, I thought that you would eventually realize how much pain you were causing me and become a better partner.
I thought that you might finally see things from my perspective. Maybe this would make you put me first occasionally. Sadly, none of that ever happened. I fought for this relationship. All I wanted to do was make you happy and be supportive. I kept my feelings inside. My emotions would easily overwhelm you. It felt like I always had to be the strong one.
This has worn me out. I am tired of giving you all of me. Sometimes, I wanted something back. Instead, you took away everything that made me who I am. I lost myself while loving you. In the process, I forgot how to take care of my own needs.
I was so busy taking care of yours. It felt like you couldn't be alone. I always believed that you were only with me because you needed someone. It was like I was your placeholder. I will never forget how that made me feel.
It felt like you were operating on autopilot. Every single time that you hurt me I would build my walls higher. You always found a way to break them down and make me feel loved. It was only for an instant, but it kept me hanging on to you. You only showed your love when you did something bad.
It hurt so much that you chose to only love me when it was convenient for you. Whereas, I gave you everything from the beginning. So, maybe part of this is my fault. I gave you all the love I had too quickly. You didn't have time to earn my love.#This probably made you believe that I would do anything to make you happy. You might've thought that I would never break things off.
I'm sorry, but that is how I am programmed. If I decide to love someone, I do it with all my heart. I can also go the opposite way if I feel like you don't deserve me anymore. When I decide to end things, I close that door for the rest of time.
If I'm being honest, I always had a difficult time saying no to you. I was the girl who always agreed. So, you may find this change of heart to be surprising. This is the other side of my love spectrum.
You need to understand how much I also love myself. I have enough self-respect to see when it's time to hit the road. The time has come for me to say no. I give up. Obviously, you don't want to take care of me or my heart. So, I need to do it myself.
All the time and effort that I put into our relationship will be put to better uses. I will put that energy towards loving myself now. You took everything and burned it down. I am leaving with only my pride.
We may have been lovers, but you never made me feel like I belonged with you. I didn't feel like I was yours alone.I must admit that we are over. It may seem ruthless, but it's a hard truth that we both need to accept.
You also need to understand that I loved you more than you loved me. I know this. If I stayed, it would mean that I was giving up on my life. I've always been a generous person, but I cannot only focus on what you want or need. It's time for me to focus on my own needs.
I will build stone walls around my heart. They will protect me from you. After all, you are the only person I cannot live my life without. However, how I feel isn't as important as how you feel. That's the problem here. During our relationship, you haven't given me the love that I desire. I have given you all my love. It was more than most people could dream of.
I still feel like you don't appreciate any of it. You never spent time with me. Time was only given to me when I earned it. Nothing I did was ever of any value to you. You never took the time to appreciate the person that you had walking beside you. It was impossible for you to understand how your actions made me feel.
Now, I have it all figured out. I've been walking with someone who doesn't deserve me. My love, time, and effort will not be wasted anymore. I gave you everything and got nothing back. I'm sorry my love, but what we had is over.Good luck on your journey.Sincerely,The girl who gave you everything.
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