If I Have To Ask For Your Attention, Then I Don't Want It

This is for all of you who’ve ever felt like they had to beg for a person’s attention. Just like love, attention isn’t something that you should have to ask of a person.

If they truly want you, then attention is something they’ll automatically give you without thought, reasoning, bargaining, nor someone’s request.

As a self-confident woman, I know what, how, when, where, and who I want and need in my life. I’ve been through too much turbulence in my life to beg for anyone’s affection, attention, or gratitude. You shouldn’t either. Don’t get down on your hands and knees to ask for love. It’s never a plea.

It’s an automatic response akin to breathing. Just as you don’t tell your lungs to take a breath, you don’t tell your heart to love. A common mistake in every failed and a bad relationship is in being polite about your needs and wants. Instead, stand up and say, “if you can’t give me what I deserve immediately, then I want nothing from you ever.”

So, they’re nice. So, they seem like the type to never maliciously hurt you. So, they think they care for you by letting you be free. But, do they know how to respect you? Do they realize that respecting you means listening to you?

Don’t you deserve someone with a mind that doesn’t go blank and ears that don’t go deaf at your words? If their idea of respect is allowing you to repeat yourself continually or sit waiting for a response that never comes as they play on their phone, is that really the type of relationship you want and need? Don’t be polite about your needs.

You want someone to look you in the eyes as you talk. You want someone to give you a reason to continue onward in sharing yourself with them. You need someone never willing to ignore, belittle, or demean you. If you have to ask or plea for them to listen, then is that company really worth having around?

When you’re not polite about your needs and wants, they may accuse you of being “clingy.” Women have had enough of men treating them as if they’re properly to own, show off, remodel, and renovate. We aren’t here for male amusement or correction. We aren’t slaves set to obey upon command.

Let them know you won’t be labeled. Let them know you’re not a possession to be taken in and out of the box at their beckon call. Let them know you’re not a someone who will stay regardless of how you’re treated.

Don’t be polite about what you need and want, and let them know quickly that charm and handsomeness won’t take the place of them giving you the respect you deserve.

You’re here. You’re invested. Do they see that? When they look at you, do they see the strong, independent, infectious, vibrant woman that you are, or do they simply see a conversation starter, eye candy, and placement holder till something better comes along?

Your ambition, drive, and intelligence should be traits that touch their mind and soul, not merely something they feel looks good on paper for others to admire. Be the warrior you are, and if they really love you, then they’ll see and appreciate it far beyond a surface level. It’ll be something that establishes an unbreakable soul-to-soul connection.

All the games that occupy their time eventually all end with “game over” and ‘you lose.’ This relationship may end the same way if they don’t put down the phone and pay attention to real life. Love isn’t a game. It’s for two people eager to work together because they can’t imagine making subsequent moves without the other person.

There’s a deep feeling that life would just never be the same without the other person’s presence.

Is your person prepared to work beside you, not in front of or behind you? Are they willing to make life full of shared moments, not solo moments? If not, then they’re expecting you to do all the work whist they play. Don’t drag nor push someone. Having to do either means they’re not giving you all that you need and deserve.

Respect and attention are your rights. If they think you don’t deserve them, then tell them to run, not walk, away. After all, you wouldn’t want to waste precious time they could be finding a more suitable woman. Maybe, they’ll find a woman who’s yet to discover her self-worth and don't expect any effort from them whatsoever? But, one thing will be for sure - you won’t be that female.

You know your worth, and it’s more than someone devoting little to no effort to a relationship with you. If you must beg for the foundation of any relationship, which is attention and respect, then why bother? The bottom line is that anyone who can’t respect your needs and wants is better told to exit your life immediately.

Have you been in a relationship lacking respect, effort, or attention? What was your response? Maybe you know someone needing encouragement because they’re in a relationship not meeting their needs and wants? Be sure to pass the info along, and, as always, feel free to leave us a comment with your thoughts, shoutouts, and questions.