How To Identify Gaslighting And Its Effect On Your Mental Health

Mar 23, 2018

It’s normal for us to second-guess ourselves from time to time and wonder if the things we said or the choices we made were smart. But when it comes to relationships, constantly second-guessing yourself, especially if it’s triggered by your partner, may mean you’re a victim of gaslighting.

This form of emotional abuse occurs in many types of relationships, including romantic, personal, or professional. But how do you know if you’re truly a victim?
 

Gail Saltz, MD a psychiatrist and host of the podcast The Power of Different, sums up gaslighting the best, “[Gaslighting] is like someone saying the sky is green over and over again, and at first you’ll be like ‘no, no.' Then over time, the person starts to manipulate you into saying ‘I guess I can’t really see what color the sky is.’ It’s just this sense of unreality.”

The person in opposition will use gaslighting as a way to hide their wrongdoings or convince you that you’re wrong so that you’re easier to control or manipulate. It’s not easy to admit that you’re the victim of gaslighting, and most often people blame their busy work schedule or lack of sleep on their “forgetfulness.”
 

Someone experiencing gaslighting may find themselves checking and double checking themselves constantly out of fear of making mistakes or receiving backlash for an oversight. This becomes a major confidence killer, and the victim experiences major anxiety in all aspects of their life. Often they will berate themselves or apologize constantly.

“Your boss may use gaslighting to hide a mistake or cover up information they didn’t mean to share,” says Ben Michaelis, a New York City-based clinical psychologist. “It can also be a passive-aggressive gesture used among peers who are competing.”
 

If you think you’re stuck with a gaslighter, try to surround yourself with friends and family to help boost your confidence. If the gaslighter is your partner, then try and get out of the relationship immediately. Try to withhold personal details from anyone who may be detrimental to your mood and don’t believe every accusation you hear.

Did you find this article helpful? Pass it on to your friends and family to see what they think about gaslighting!