How Birth Order May Shape Your Personality

May 28, 2019

It’s often said that the oldest sibling is the responsible one while an only child is much more likely to be selfish and spoilt. We all know these stereotypes, but how much truth can be found in them? Is it true that the order in which we are born can shape our personalities to such an extent?

The birth order theory started back in the 1920s with Alfred Adler, a friend, and colleague of Sigmund Freud. He was the first psychiatrist who had the idea that the order in which children are born affects their personality. His theory featured four basic children types.

This is the child that is usually more conservative, naturally inclined towards leadership, reliable and obedient. They often have to take care of and be responsible for their younger siblings, so they grow up more caring, more likely to become parents themselves and more likely to be the first to act on things.

Often stuck in their older sibling’s shadow, the middle child struggles not to be overshadowed by their sibling. They develop slightly quicker and are often more ambitious, but only rarely selfish about their ambitions.

They often set unreasonable goals for themselves and then struggle to meet them, increasing their number of failures. But having to cope with these and knowing how difficult life makes them stronger in the long run.

Everybody who comes from a family with several children knows this: The youngest one gets a lot more attention from the parents and the older siblings. This can make the youngest feel less independent or experienced than their older brothers or sisters.

It also makes them highly motivated to step out of their siblings’ shadows. They are driven to be the best at what they do and tend to be very sociable, even though they are often more irresponsible than their older siblings.

We all know this stereotype that only children are self-centered and often pampered by their parents. The birth order theory agrees with this: only children are often dependent on their protective parents and have trouble interacting with others, as they don’t have to compete with any siblings at home.

However, an only child often wants to compete with and impress their parents, which turns them into perfectionists who pursue their goals no matter what stands in their way.

Nowadays, the birth order theory is getting more popular again. Not everybody thinks the theory has merit, some scientists dismiss it entirely, while others say it is accurate. A study called "Examining The Effects of Birth Order on Personality," looked at 20,000 adults from the UK, USA and Germany, and their siblings and families.  

They found that older siblings usually scored better on intelligence tests, but could not find any proof that birth order affects the children’s emotional stability or imagination.

A US study found evidence that birth order can affect a child’s personality. This study looked at 377.000 high school students across the USA. Their results showed that firstborns are usually more honest and dominant, but also less sociable and not as able to deal with stress.

Middle children were found to be more diligent and careful. The youngest were often more sociable and extroverted. Children without siblings were often more likely to be nervous, but also outgoing.

These studies aren’t the be-all, end-all though. Neither study looked at other social factors, such as ethnicity, the level of education the children had, the parents’ wealth and the state of the relationships inside the families.

So birth order might be important, but we shouldn’t forget that our children develop according to how we raise them. Giving a child a stable, safe and loving home is what’s most important after all.

Did you think this article was interesting? Do you think the birth order theory is correct or nothing to be fussed about? We would love to hear your thoughts and comments, so don’t hold them back! Pass this article along to your friends and find out what they think.