Happiness Expert Claims That Women Are Happier Single And Without Kids

Jul 10, 2023

Companionship, marriage, and parenthood are some societal norms humans have adopted and have grown accustomed to since immemorial. Happiness and fulfillment are often tied to how an individual achieves these feats. 

While these three phenomena come with stress, many have attested to it as a source of happiness. However, the danger stems from generalization. This means there is a flaw in the collective thought that marriage and having kids are the sources of joy for everyone. 

On a larger scale, happiness means different things to different people. Sometimes people find joy in the most mundane things. For men and women, happiness means different things, which cannot be undermined. 

According to Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioral science at the London School of Economics, raising children and being married are some of the traditional indicators used to measure success. During an appearance at the Hay Festival in 2019, he relayed that these markers are not in tandem with happiness. Dolan talked about the dynamics and less possibility of women finding happiness in marriage as opposed to staying single. 

Dolan stated the concepts people tend to chase after in pursuit of happiness. In his 2019 book, "Happy Ever After," he revealed the myth of perfection and finding true fulfillment. The professor listed and gave an in-depth explanation of five habits that could lead people to chase the myth of perfection. These included looking for the one in romance, worrying about money, working a lot, focusing on education, and obsessing over health. The expert shared that being hyper-focused on such things often deprives individuals of actually finding fulfillment. 

Dolan's suggestion to quail such circumstances boils down to stopping these habits. It was the same logic he applied during his Hay Festival discourse when he delved into the connection between marriage and happiness for women or the lack of it. The behavioral science expert opined that men benefited more from marriage as opposed to their female counterparts. He noted the difference:

"You take less risks, you earn more money at work, and you live a little longer. She, on the other hand, has to put up with that and dies sooner than if she never married."

In light of this, Dolan further stated that "the healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married or had children." In "Happy Ever After," Dolan cited proof from the American Time Use Survey (ATUS), where different feelings were compared on different levels. These feelings included the level of pleasure and misery in married, divorced, separated, single and widowed people. 

Despite Dolan's deductions that single females are often happier, he shared that this lifestyle could lead to stigma. This was because the predominant narrative was that marriage and children were signs of success.  

However, a few weeks after Dolan's discourse, Kelsey Piper, a senior writer at Future Perfect, opposed some of his notions in an article for Vox. Piper stated that Dolan misunderstood the data provided by ATUS, thereby concluding that married people were less happy. Ray 

Kimbrough, an economist at American University, also attested to Piper's claim. Kimbrough revealed how he reached out to Dolan, who later clarified that although he misunderstood some details, his stance remains that "marriage is generally better for men than for women."   

Do you agree with Paul Dolan's deductions concerning marriage and happiness? Do you believe that happiness should not be tied to a few things? Let us know, and be sure to pass this eye-opening piece to others.