“Gaslighting”: A Mind Game That Abusers Play To Make Their Victims Feel Insane

Mar 17, 2019

One way that abusers maintain control is to make you seem as if you are insane. If you have ever felt that way, then it was them trying to discredit your own feelings, sanity, and self worth.

The tactic is called gaslighting. The name comes from a 1950s movie where a man tries to trick a woman in to thinking that she is going crazy. He changes a lamp's dimness, but tricks her into believing he has not, therefore making her feel as though she's wrong.

Gaslighting is a horrible mind game. More people need to know about it. If you have been questioning yourself and your relationship, then read on.

Gaslighting is emotional abuse. It makes you questions what is really happening, how you feel, and if you should be angry by what your partner has done.

There are a few ways that gaslighting can happen.

One of the most common ways is to deny that something happened. Seems silly, right, but it works. You know that this action happened, but yet, because of your emotional connection to the person you start to doubt yourself. For example, he or she may say that you did not argue about a certain topic when, in fact, you did. They will cut you off and repeat over and over that you two did not have an argument.

Another way that abusers perpetrate gaslighting is to change things or take them away. They want you to question your own memory and become disoriented.

Finally, they will make you start wondering what's wrong and what's right. If there is the ability to cite and include religion, then this works perfectly in their favor. Additionally, quoting philosophers and excuses from thin air, as they try to persuade you in another direction.

You may be accused of being irrational and they may turn the tables and say that you are the one who is abusing them. They will then tell you that if you know what your place is, then you will be much happier.

Gaslighting can extend its ugly arm to family members. The abuser could be trying to isolate you from friends and family. The abuser will tell them that you are crazy.

The abuser may be trying to paint themselves as the hero who is trying to save you from yourself. Some abusers have gone as far as to tell people that their lover is suicidal when they have tried to leave them.

When arguing the perpetrator will say that the argument was the cause of the victim. They are trying to wear them down by picking fights. It becomes a game of trying to tire the victim out.

Abusers do not start out boldly with gaslighting. It starts off subtly with some boundary pushing. An insult here and there and an apology coupled with a retort of how the victim is being emotional. Soon, the victim is labeled as being emotional.

Fake Doctoring: The abuser may start to diagnose the victim as being depressed. They will press that the abused needs help and needs to seek professional help. The victim is only trying to do work or to be left alone for a moment, but the abuser will keep pushing.

Gaslighters blame-shift and distract their victims so gaslighting is hard to pin down. The victim feels dazed and confused on what they may be arguing about. Many victims remember happier times and usually cannot recall why they’re so upset.

People who become victims will tend to question and doubt themselves. They are being lead and trained to feel this way. They feel on the losing end of arguments and may start to resent their partner. They do not want to argue, but they are forced to - more training so that the abuser can get their way.

The final stages of being gaslighted is when the victim cannot make decisions on their own. They no longer know what normal is. They think that they are crazy and can't remember anything any more.

The abuser gets to decide for them. In other words, the victim is so stressed they cannot function.

The gaslighter wants control and wants it at any cost. What the victim is feeling does not matter because they want it all at any cost.

The ego boost and the emotional high are at the top of the list. That means they must control, hurt, and manipulate.Narcissists, sociopaths, and people who have antisocial disorder add this as a tool in their manipulation toolbox all the time.

If this has been sounding like you it is time to leave your relationship. Disengage and go! Domestic violence experts state that the best way to get out of this situation is to not engage with the gaslighter. There is no need to argue nor continue any conversation.

If its not too late, let your friends and family know what the abuser is doing. If you can't do that, then disappear to your friends and family and allow the surprise of the break up to be their wake up call. Do not go back to the abuser. If you do, the abuse will only escalate.

And remember; it's not your fault.

This could happen to anyone. Moving onward its key to not date people who act like this. Pass this article on to somebody who needs a wake-up call.

Our content is created to the best of our knowledge, yet it is of general nature and cannot in any way substitute an individual consultation by your doctor. Your health is important to us!