Father Pulls Offer To Pay For His Daughter’s Wedding After Finding Out She Didn’t Invite Her Gay Brothers

Oct 02, 2023

Being a parent to multiple children is no easy task. This becomes particularly so when they grow older, and their values begin to change. For one father, navigating these differences came to a head when one of his daughters was set to get married. He detailed his experience on Reddit to find out if his decision regarding one of her choices, which affected his two other sons, was justified.

Posting under the handle Mammoth_Inside_2431 in July 2023, the father began his dilemma by explaining that his 26-year-old daughter, Casey, planned to wed her long-time partner, Max, at the end of the year. As Max’s family was from a different country and could not afford to pay for the wedding as well as travel to attend it, the father generously offered to cover the expenses.

“I have no issues with it and just want my little girl to be happy,” he wrote.

All was well and good until the father received a visit from his two sons, Alex, who identifies as non-binary, and Tom. Both are gay and raising children they adopted with their respective husbands. However, when the subject of Casey’s wedding invitations came up, the father was surprised to find both Alex and Tom had yet to receive them. The dad then contacted other members of the family, who said they had already received their invitations. 

“It also seemed weird since Casey has always been close to them and supported them when they came out as non-binary and gay respectively,” the dad wrote. He then called his daughter to get to the bottom of the issue, and her response left him shocked and devastated.

For Illustration Purposes Only — istockphoto.com/madisonwi

Upon speaking with his daughter, the OP discovered that the missing wedding invitations were no mistake at all. Instead, Casey told him that she didn't invite her brothers because their lifestyles didn't align with Max and his family's traditional values.

“My daughter said that Max and his family don't feel comfortable with couples that are not traditional and it goes against their culture and that she hopes for my understanding,” he wrote. Distraught by her decision, the father told Casey that he would not walk her down the aisle or pay for her big day.

“She cannot exclude her family like this when they did nothing wrong and if her future in-laws’ opinion is so important to her, they can pay for the wedding,” he told her, leaving Casey in tears as she cursed her father and hung up. The father said while the rest of his children agreed with his decision, his wife was more sympathetic, saying while she didn’t agree with her daughter’s decision to exclude her siblings, she “gets where Casey is coming from.” 

The dad also said he struggled “to understand why she did it and why she thought Max and his family are more important then (sic) her own as she was the one who helped her siblings to come out and helped them to explain this all to me better.” He added his wife believed “Casey has done it to please (her in-laws) and avoid any arguments or confrontations that might turn the future in-laws against her.” 

However, Casey’s mother appeared to be alone in feeling this way, if the users’ comments were anything to go by. 

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For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — istockphoto.com/Finn Hafemann

The Reddit community took to the comments section to vent their fury over Casey’s actions, as well as hail the father’s decision to stand by his sons.

“It’s always surprising to me that people can make bigoted choices and then expect ‘understanding’ from the people around them. I’m non-binary myself and thank you for supporting all of your children; two by backing up their identities and refusing to let them be discriminated against on your dime, and one by setting firm boundaries and letting her know there are real-world consequences for choosing to be a bigot,” one user wrote.

Another praised the father and said: “Your daughter knew you’d react this way and kept it on the DL so hopefully when you found out sunk cost fallacy would kick in. Do not fall for her bigot’s begging tears. You are doing good by all your kids here.”

Another user shared similar sentiments:

“That makes me so incredibly sad for them. Honestly, seeing a man your age acknowledge your non-binary child right off the bat made me so happy. That support is not given as often as it should and you doubling down in defense of your queer children is amazing. I wish I had a dad like you.”

Others expressed concern with the daughter’s decision and suspected something was amiss in her relationship.

“Not only did she not have the balls to tell her siblings about this, but she did not even defend them to her soon-to-be husband. She immediately did as she was told. Pleasing other people instead of her own blood. That is so wrong,” one user wrote, while another remarked: “Casey should tell her husband he accepts her and her family. Is she intending to cut her siblings off for her husband? That’s some downright controlling behaviour.” 

For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — istockphoto.com/PIKSEL

We'd love to hear your perspective on the situation. Was the father's decision to pull his financial support from the wedding justified? Let us know your thoughts and pass this along to friends and family to gather their insights on the matter as well.

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