Father Banned His Daughter From Attending 'Once-In-A-Lifetime Events' After Learning She Bullied Another Student

Sep 08, 2023

Bullying is one of the most trying challenges faced by elementary and high school students. It is so widespread that it is classified as one of the most underreported safety problems on American school campuses. According to the American Psychological Association, bullying is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words or more subtle actions.

People bully others for different reasons, from wanting to feel better about themselves to wanting to dominate others in order to improve their social standing. While bullies might end up feeling good about themselves, their victims are left to struggle with low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and increased feelings of loneliness and sadness, among other things.

In several cases, bullies in schools go scot-free after unleashing vileness on vulnerable students, as they are usually not reported. But in the few instances where they are reported, bullies eventually pay for the consequences of their actions. While schools might suspend bullies for a while, parents whose children steer away from the morals taught to them at home are usually harsh with meting out punishments to their erring children.

In one such case, a Reddit user @u/ventura4433, in an Aug. 13, 2023 post, detailed the punishment he meted out to his daughter after she was reported to have joined her friends in bullying a girl. He went on the platform to find out if he was wrong “for making my daughter miss once-in-a-lifetime events (homecoming and senior prom) and delete all of her social media as punishment for bullying?”

The Original Poster (OP), Ventura4433, started the post by explaining that he was informed that his daughter, Sam, was part of a group that bullied a girl until she was forced to leave for another school. While Ventura4433 was generally dissatisfied with his daughter’s actions, he was mostly surprised that the bullying had a racial undertone. His shock stemmed from the fact that he and his wife had tried to raise their kids to be honest individuals.

"There was a racial aspect to the bullying, which came as a complete shock since my wife and I truly did our best to raise our 3 kids to be kind and honest individuals," he wrote.

Ventura4433 decided to punish Sam after weighing her actions. As someone who didn’t believe that confiscating gadgets was a harsh consequence for her action, he meted out punishments that included banning her from attending "once-in-a-lifetime events," among other things. He explained: 

“I told Sam that she won’t be allowed to participate in homecoming or attend senior prom. I also told her that she won’t be getting a car for her 18th birthday either. Finally, I told her that she’ll have to delete all of her social media accounts with either me or her mother watching.”

As anyone who had been hit with such a punishment would, Sam begged to be allowed to go to senior prom and keep her Instagram account. However, her plea was outrightly rejected by Ventura4433, who reminded her that she shouldn’t have been a bully.

Further in the post, Ventura4433 revealed that his parents, who were temporarily living with his family due to a renovation going on at their house, shared their opinion on the issue. While they agreed that Sam was wrong, they felt that the punishment he gave out was too harsh.

Redditors on the platform took to the comments section to drop their opinion on the post, with the majority in support of Ventura4433. While some wholly supported the OP, others made suggestions to ease his daughter’s punishment over time.

“NTA,” one Redditor commented. “The person she bullied has also missed lifetime events — having a trauma free school life for one. That trumps going to prom or homecoming for me. Let her back up the photos before deleting the social media accounts though.”

“NTA,” commented a second Redditor. "The fact that the poor kid moved schools, and the fact that race was part of this tormenting? Seems pretty fair to me. The one thing you missed........ I'd also make sure the other parents of this group know. You'll soon find out which parent allows this sort of thing.”

“NTA,” commented a third user. “As a bullying victim myself, thank you for teaching her that there are consequences for such horrid behaviour.”

“NTA,” yet another user wrote. “Victim of racist bullying here. That trauma follows you for the rest of your life and getting proper help is hard as even in large cities, it can be difficult to find a therapist that specialises in racial trauma, especially a none (sic) white therapist. Parenting isn’t always fun but your job is to raise a decent human that can contribute positively to this world. Sounds like you’re doing your job. I wish more parents take note!”

“I agree with everything here. NTA judgement. A path to earn back prom. Back up the pics but delete all accounts. Therapy is so important here. Earning privileges is a great way to learn the value of those things. She's young and very impressionable, OP don't teach her she's irredeemable,” another commented.

What do you think of the OP banning his daughter from once-in-a-lifetime events? Do you think the punishment is too harsh? What would you have done if you were in a similar position? Let us know — and be sure to pass this article on to friends, family members and other people you think would have an answer!