Denzel Washington Jokes 'Keeping His Mouth Shut' Is Key To His 3-Decade Marriage

May 31, 2022

Finding long-lasting love in Hollywood is often a challenge. While many of our favorite actors and actresses often go through multiple marriages and divorces, not everyone in showbiz follows this norm. In fact, those such as Denzel Washington have found ways to make their marriages successful despite Hollywood pressures. 

Denzel Washington has had great success throughout his lifetime. He is an award-winning actor and has dabbled in the field of directing. His career has not only garnered him praise from peers, critics, and fans alike but has led him to his happy-ever-after with wife Pauletta Washington. A talented entertainer herself, Pauletta and Denzel make quite the celebrity couple.

Pauletta Washington was born on Sept. 28, 1950, in North Carolina. According to IMDB, she was born with the surname Pearson. Pauletta is a libra who is turning 71-years-old later in 2021. She is five years older than her husband. Pauletta is very tall, standing at 6 ft and 1 inch. She attended the University of North Carolina School of the Arts, as well as the prestigious Juilliard School.

Pauletta has completely immersed herself in the acting world by not only working as an actress herself but by marrying an actor and being the sister of actress Rita Pearson.

She made her acting debut in "Wilma" in 1977, starring alongside now-husband Denzel. She went on to work on more TV movies and series throughout her career, including "The Parkers" and "The Watsons Go to Birmingham." She also landed roles on the silver screen starting in 1998 with "Beloved." Her more recent works showcase her talent in a more limited space, with the actress starring in multiple short features.

The famous couple actually has a cute story about how their decade-long love came to be.

According to The Oprah Magazine, the love birds Denzel Washington and Pauletta Pearson met in 1977 as they both took part in the making of a television show called 'Wilma.' Their acquaintance quickly turned into a strong friendship, something they both attribute to the longevity of their relationship. They were friends before they fell in love!

Denzel and Pauletta tied the knot on 25th June 1983, and since then they have lived in marriage and honored the vows they made to each other. On a trip to South Africa in 1995, they had the chance to renew their vows, and the well-known Archbishop Desmond Tutu officiated the renewal. Denzel once commented in one interview a while back:

"I don't know if it's show business that has a monopoly on divorce, it's just that you hear about it." He proceeded with, "I just think that you have to work at it. Not give up on each other. It's a commitment. It's not all the honeymoon, it doesn't last forever, so you work at it. And hopefully, you're good friends first, that might help!"

Marriage has not been perfect for the couple, as they too have had their dark days in their union. They and their four children, John David, Katia, and twins Olivia and Malcolm, have always managed to go through hard times as a team.

Denzel's marriage has survived due to several aspects, and in a previous interview, he has joked that he has learned how to shut up and always do what his wife asks of him.

"What pops into my head: security, food, a beautiful home. The difference between a house and a home, it's a big difference."

He added on the same interview. He also stated how much his wife has been pivotal in raising their children and making their house a home.

During a snippet in the TD Jakes show featuring the movie 'Equalizer 2,' when asked about his marriage, Denzel is never shy to admit how his wife has been the family's primary support system. He went ahead to comment on Pauletta, "She has been the consistent one when it came to taking care of him and the kids. She has given daily religious instruction. She was the one taking them to school while I was out providing."

The couple has also publicly based their marriage on a deep-rooted faith. Pauletta, in an interview, admitted that their marriage is all spiritual and based on God. She has continuously sought spiritual counseling whenever situations got out of hand. She also added a remark about their friends, "My inner circle is also like-minded, so we strengthen each other."

Still, Washington had his fair share of struggles as he ventured throughout his childhood into his teenage years and even into early adulthood. Since his father was a minister, Washington spent a lot of time during his childhood going to church but rejected it during his early teen years, according to ABC News.

It was hard for him to navigate his relationship with his faith and to learn to cope with his parents’ divorce. Even today, Washington still doesn’t know the reason behind why his parents’ divorced.

Speaking with GQ in September 2012, he said:

“We didn’t have a sit-down. They’re a different generation. I didn’t ask — you just assumed. For lack of love, or whatever their reason. I never asked. What else would I want to know? I didn’t see it coming. But I wasn’t looking. I was 14.”

His experiences growing up gave Washington the determination to do better in his own relationships - and the knowledge that communication was key for such a thing.

Funnily enough, their relationship only really started because of a random moment of chance. Although they had met on the set of 'Wilma' and talked and met as friends previously, they did not have a close relationship or connection. That all changed with one fateful encounter. Talking to Oprah in 1996, Pauletta explained in detail what happened back then:

"A mutual friend of ours, who was also in the film, had given a party. And Denzel and his friends came at the very end of the party. We spoke again. [...] The next night, I attended a play and I got there late, so I snuck in and just sat down. I didn't look at who was around me. Then at intermission, the lights came up and we were sitting next to each other."

Many years later, on Live with Kelly and Ryan in 2018, Denzel also talked about this moment, although he remembered it a bit differently. "I had talked at that party, I talked about going to see the play. I went to see the play and at intermission the lights came up and she was sitting [there]. She said she just happened to go see the play, but…” The actor then jokingly aborted his sentence, claiming teasing his wife more would get him in trouble. Although Denzel and Pauletta sometimes disagree on the small details of their relationship, such as their first date - with both claiming they paid - or how many times Denzel proposed before she said yes, one thing is clear: the two love each other very deeply.

More and more young rising stars need to borrow a leaf from Denzel Washington and his wife, Pauletta. Not only are they incredible actors, but they also have one of the longest-lasting drama-free marriages in Hollywood! Feel free to spread these insightful tips from this delightful couple with your family and friends. Who knows? This might just be your relationship’s life-saver.