Demeaned Wife Ends Marriage Over Being Called ‘SWMBO’ In A Text Her Husband Sent To His Friends

Sep 12, 2023

Divorce is often initiated by complex reasons, and for one woman, it was a demeaning nickname her husband used behind her back that served as the catalyst for her decision to end her marriage.

In an anonymous confession on Mamamia in 2018, a woman opened up to that pivotal moment that marked the end of her five-year marriage. She started her revelation by detailing her husband's stubborn reluctance to communicate his plans, which had a profound impact on their relationship from the moment their son was born. 

The turning point came one Friday morning when her husband's phone kept buzzing while he was in the shower. She checked it, hoping it wasn't anything urgent. What she read was a group chat between her husband and his friends, planning another night out.

However, what caught her eye wasn't the night out itself but rather the acronym "SWMBO" in one of the messages. Puzzled and perturbed, she confronted him about this cryptic abbreviation. To her astonishment, he nonchalantly revealed that the acronym stood for "She Who Must Be Obeyed."

Outraged, the woman explained that the nickname "SWMBO" was like a symbol of the complete lack of respect and understanding in their marriage. It represented a demeaning and unequal partnership that she could no longer bear.

She explained that she was not a mother demanding for a teenager to obey her. She was his wife, who was expecting respect from her husband. 

Despite five years of marriage and a decade-long relationship, she found herself reduced to the role of an authoritarian figure in her husband's life rather than a loving, equal partner. The realization that she was no longer valued by the person she had dedicated a significant part of her life to was a bitter pill to swallow.

"When I came across a text message on his phone one Friday morning, I knew I had to leave him," the woman stated. "From the moment our son was born, nothing changed for my husband," she added and detailed how he kept his social activities with his friends the same as before. 

"The real problem was, the one thing I really wanted from him, he wouldn’t give me. He absolutely hated telling me what his plans were," she said.

"It was a weird shift in our marriage that I hadn’t expected – this stubborn reluctance to tell us when he was going to participate in our lives," she went on. However, that text message was the clincher because she found out what her husband really thought of her. 

"I felt like I’d been slapped in the face," she wrote, adding that she realized her husband discussed her to his friends to even come up with that nickname. So, she moved out of their marital home with the children the following week. 

However, readers of her confession felt that there was a lot more to this because leaving him appeared to be a petty decision. Some thought that many husbands usually refer to their wives as the bossy ones in the relationship, as a joke. They also thought that the confession was filled with the wife's deep resentment, so they understood why the husband needed to escape being around her occasionally. 

The other commenters said that the couple definitely drifted apart after having a baby. Another person in the comments section pointed out that there was no balance or partnership in their marriage; thus, they were doomed. The text message was the "final straw" for the wife. While some may perceive the nickname as trivial, it served as a glaring red flag, signaling profound issues within their relationship. 

Do you think ending this marriage was the best option? What would you have done if you were in a similar situation? Do you have a friend or family who might get some input from this story? Pass this piece along and ask them what they think as well.