Dad Stirs Up Online Debate By Giving His Sleeping Wife Wake-Up Calls Whenever He Notices Their Toddler Is Awake Via Nursery Camera

Jul 04, 2023

Pregnancy is one of the most difficult phases of a woman’s life. From carrying your child to term to taking extreme care of them until their formative years pass by, it is a challenging feat on its own. This is why many people were riled up online after a father took to the AITA Thread on Reddit and wondered if he was in the wrong for accusing his wife of neglecting their 20-month-old kid. 

While he works for almost the entire week, his wife stays at home: 

“I always check in on my son remotely via our nursery cam app and he’s always awake in the mornings around 8:00,” he wrote. 

From time to time, he checks on his child around 9:00 to 10:00 in the morning. However, every time he looks at him, he’s already awake in the dark, standing in the crib, waiting for his mother. At this point, the father calls his wife to wake her up, which sometimes takes up three to four times before picking up – indicating that she just woke up. 

“This morning while on the phone, I asked her if she was going to get him after using the bathroom and she said no, she was going to the kitchen to prepare their breakfast and THEN she’d get him. I asked her to get him after the bathroom so he could go to the kitchen with her and she flipped out,” he continued. 

Apparently, the mother was pissed at being awakened every morning by her husband only to be told “how to be a mom,” even pointing out that she has her own routine. The original poster (OP) clapped back and retorted – “well, your routine sucks because he’s been awake for an hour and you’d still be asleep if I hadn’t called.”

OP is bothered that his son has to wait for so long, especially if he needs a diaper change, is probably thirsty, or wants to play already. 

The initial reaction to his question was quite divided, with some people saying that his wife was in the wrong for not tending to their son earlier. 

“The kid is not going to cry if it’s been normalized that he needs to wait in his crib for 1 to 2 hours. Edit to add: NTA,” a user commented. 

“Totally agree with this. 1 to 2 hour wait is just sad. I hated reading this post. Your wife is a negligent mother,” someone pointed out. 

Others opposed this, saying that it was wrong for the father to micromanage his wife remotely.

“I was taught to stay in my crib and play with toys until my mom got up. I’m no worse for wear and I can tell you my mother is anything but negligent, never has been. It’s good for kids to learn to entertain themselves,” another user reacted. 

“Nothing sad about it. Kid has a routine, kid has no discomfort. Most likely has toys. If he needs mom he’ll let her know believe me. You guys don’t understand babies, same as OP,” one wrote. 

“Exactly this. The kid is in a safe space; he’s not upset, and he’s fine. kids playing alone in a safe space for an hour or two until parents get up and make breakfast isn’t neglect,’ a user echoed. 

However, OP took to the thread again to clarify some things about her wife’s ordeal, which angered many Redditors. 

It turns out OP’s wife has been suffering from postpartum depression, low vitamin B-12, and chronic fatigue, which many believe to be the reason for her wife’s tardiness and distress. 

Many Redditors slammed the OP for purposely leaving out his wife’s underlying medical conditions, which many thought to be cunning. 

“So there’s a real reason why she sleeps so much, and OP also said he doesn’t think he should have to pay for childcare when his wife is capable when it sounds like maybe she isn’t right now because of her health issues. So yeah, I do think he’s TA for knowing there’s an actual problem she’s having, but still expecting his wife to act like a mom without his wife’s difficulties, you know? He basically just came to Reddit to bitch about his wife without providing the whole story,” one user emphasized. 

OP tried to defend himself for not listing the causes. For instance, the reason why he didn’t put her low vitamin B-12 levels was that it was not considered a “deficiency.” Meanwhile, his wife’s doctors could not find the reason for her chronic fatigue. 

As for her postpartum depression, OP justified that it was being treated and monitored regularly by a professional. OP also omitted the fact that his wife is taking attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and narcolepsy medications, which many found alarming too. 

After getting flak from people on the thread, OP rolled back on his statements. 

“Whether the internet thinks she is a bad mother, negligent, lazy, or abusive is not important. I know and love the woman I married, I do feel comfortable leaving her with our kid and she does an amazing job with him,” he said.

Who do you think was in the wrong here? Is it OP or his wife? Would you have left your children awake in another room alone while you are sleeping? Let us know, and pass this on to your family, friends, and other loved ones to know their thoughts!