Dad Invites Fury By Asking Stepdaughter To Split Late Dad's Money With His Kid

Jul 20, 2023

Stepfamilies, also known as blended families, are not a new phenomenon. They are common with many people, and many celebrities who have children from previous relationships or marriages are known for their blended families. Living with one’s stepfamily can be quite interesting and adventurous. The children get more siblings and parents, and the kids often have to start learning how to bond and blend with their new family members. It gets better when both partners take time to build a solid relationship with the other person’s kids, and genuine affection develops between all the parties involved. 

As with every other instance where people have to relate with each other, there are also challenges that such families can face. For one, the situation can be strange to the kids, who will perceive it as an upheaval from their usual way of life. Sometimes, children can see the new family as interlopers; if this is not quickly managed, it can destabilize the family’s unity. 

Another challenge blended families often face occurs when one parent has difficulty dealing with their partner’s usual way of relating with kids. Another thing that can threaten the peaceful coexistence of stepfamilies is when unrealistic expectations arise from either the parents or the children. 

A similar situation arose between a stepdad, his wife, and stepdaughter. The dad wanted his stepdaughter to share her late dad’s money with his children, but his wife insisted it would not happen. However, the confused mom took to Reddit in July 2023 to ask if she was right for saying no to her husband’s request. Get the details of her situation below. 

A woman went to the Reddit community in July 2023 to get clarity after her husband called her selfish for not wanting her daughter to split her inheritance with his kids. 

She started: 

“When my (42F) daughter (17F) was 7, we lost her father to an avoidable accident.”

A settlement was put into a trust fund to see her daughter through college and grad school, which her daughter already expressed interest in. Her daughter would also have some money left. The original poster (OP) shared that her daughter didn’t take it for granted as it was the price for her dad’s life. 

The 42-year-old woman remarried six years later to a “lovely” man with kids; a 17-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son who live mostly with them. OP added that her daughter was admitted to her dream college, and her husband was happy. Her stepdaughter also got into a top-ranking institution.

OP explained that her stepdaughter would have to take some loans up to $40,000 to study since her parents couldn’t afford the full tuition. However, her daughter didn’t have to. 

She continued: 

“But my daughter will graduate debt free, and for my husband this is suddenly a problem. He wants us to split up my daughter’s fund between all three kids because then they could all (probably) have college fully paid for. My daughter won’t have much left over and will definitely need to borrow for grad school but, according to my husband, that’s ok because everyone will start off on an equal footing post college.” 

“I think this is unfair to my daughter because 1) her father had to die for this money and 2) this is like her inheritance from him,” she explained. 

Finally, the OP asked if she was being selfish for not agreeing with him. 

The Reddit community thought there was nothing wrong with the OP’s stance. They instead turned their ire on the stepdad for feeling entitled to another man’s money. Some even suspected the man’s motive in marrying her.

“I agree, NTA the money is for your deceased husband’s children not your current husband’s children. Keep your stance this is your daughter’s money from HER father …” a Redditor advised. 

Many people also told the woman it was legally impossible to split the money in a trust fund. 

A second Redditor wrote:

 “NTA. Moreover, because it’s set aside in a trust, you are legally unable to split it. If you do split it, after she turns 18 your daughter can take you and your husband to court to recoup her money, and you could owe interest and additional fines.”

They added: 

“This is her money. You are only the custodian until she’s 18, then she can do what she wants with it. The trust will only allow you to take money out of the trust until she’s 18 if it’s spent on her. Not her step-sibs.”

A third person commented:

“NTA. Once your new husband heard about your daughter’s trust fund, the first thing that probably went through his head was “Oh nice! If I convince SD to split the fund, I won’t have to pay a dime out of my pocket!” That’s probably why he’s getting angry because that could be his only chance to get out of paying. Whatever you do, don’t give in to his manipulation.”

A fourth user slammed the stepdad, writing:

“NTA! Your current husband is a total AH! He’s only thinking about his own kids. And not about what your daughter had to LOSE to receive this money. Don’t give them 1 cent.”

What do you think the woman should do? Do you agree with the comments? Have you heard of or experienced a similar situation? How did you resolve it? Let us know – and share this article with friends and family.