Dad Decides Not To Pay For Daughter's Wedding After She Refused To Let Him Walk Her Down The Aisle

Jul 21, 2023

Weddings are a beautiful tradition and have existed for years. According to Ince & Co, the tradition predates known history, but historians place the earliest known record of such ceremonies at 2350 B.C. in the Middle East. Weddings usually involve different ceremonies steeped in tradition and usually include a time for merriment. Different cultures and religions have their mode of conducting marriage ceremonies. For instance, monogamous marriages result from a drawn-out conflict between the Catholic Church and the monarchy, which wanted to be polygamous. The Church, however, won, and monogamy became the rule around the ninth century.

One of the traditions that has evolved and stayed through the years during wedding ceremonies is the bride’s father giving her away. Although rooted in patriarchal values where the father exchanged his daughter for a dowry, the practice has transcended that value. Today, daughters allow their fathers to walk them down the aisle as a sign of gratitude. It's also seen as a token of love and support for the bride as she starts a new life with her groom. Modern practices have also allowed the mother and father to walk the bride together, while in some instances, the bride walks alone toward the groom. 

A father thought that his daughter's decision not to let him walk her down the aisle was selfish, so he decided not to pay for her wedding. However, he wasn't sure he had made the right decision, so he asked the Reddit community on July 2, 2023, if he was on the right path. Continue reading to know why the daughter refused to let her dad walk her down the aisle and why the dad thought she was being extreme. 

A 48-year-old dad felt slighted by his 19-year-old daughter, who he says is an independent thinker. The man told Reddit on July 2, 2023, that he taught her to be like that, but it caused a conflict between them. 

"She got engaged and decided that she doesn't want me to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. She argues that her mother and I don't "own" her, therefore we have no right to "give her away." I feel hurt by this because we never treated her like an object or piece of property, rather we've tried our best to provide her with a wonderful life," he started. 

He continued, "Her stance seems extreme to me, and despite discussions, she's refusing to budge on the issue." 

The man argued that while he respects his daughter's choices, he feels disregarded and won't sponsor her wedding. He explained that he didn't want to manipulate her but didn't owe her an all-expense-paid wedding either. 

He asked the community, "I'm feeling quite conflicted about this. AITA?"

The original poster (O.P.) edited his post after reading some comments and clarified that he was more troubled with his daughter's attitude and didn't want to make the day about him. 

"She's had every opportunity in life so far, and to exclude us from this day is a spit in the face," he explained. "It's a rejection of everything we've done for her, sacrificed for her, given her. It's selfish."

O.P. also added that his daughter only kicked out the tradition that honored her parents and kept the other traditions. However, he clarified that he still had a good relationship with her and had finally decided to give her a gift worth the same amount he spent for her older sister's wedding. 

O.P.'s post drew many comments, and opinions were divided over whether he was right or wrong. Those who supported him thought the daughter should pay for her own wedding since she was independent. 

"NTA. You heard her. She is independent. Independent people deal with their own bills," a user commented. 

A second user agreed: 

"NAH. I get both points of view. I don't want my dad to "give me away" when I get married but I also am expecting 0 financial support from my parents. It's becoming more normalized that women walk themselves down the isle. But maybe a compromise can be made and both you and her mom can walk her so it's more a show of support for the marriage than a handoff. Just an idea. But I don't believe you're obligated to pay for the wedding at all."

When Facebook users judged the matter, they opined that the dad was right. 

"My parents paid for my college so I wanted to pay for my own wedding. I was proud and honored to have my Dad walk me down the aisle," someone commented. 

A second user agreed:

"I agree with this gentleman 100% - his daughter can't have it both ways."

However, many Redditors felt the man was being manipulative and petty. 

"If the only reason you're not willing to pay, is because she doesn't want to be walked down the aisle, then definitely YTA," a first user argued. 

"YTA. Why were you paying for her wedding? Because you love her and want her to be happy, or because you wanted to control the wedding?" a second Redditor asked. 

A Redditor slammed the man:

"O.P. "...I raised her to be independent and think for herself..." Also O.P., "No, not like that!" YTA."

What do you think of the man's stance? Do you think he was trying to control his daughter? Let us know — like, and share with your friends and family.