Bette Midler Credits Husband’s Sacrifice For Their Daughter & Their Concerted Effort To Stay Married For Keeping Family Together

Sep 19, 2023

Bette Midler and her husband, Martin von Haselberg, have gone through a lot over the course of their decades-long marriage. But did you know how they got married? If not, it will definitely surprise you!

Born in Honolulu, Hawaii, on Dec. 1, 1945, Midler must have had star written all over her instantly, as she was named Bette after renowned actress Bette Davis, and she sure has lived up to her moniker. She left the island for New York City in 1965 and found her way into show business.

Her start in the industry was instant, as she first began by studying theater at HB Studio before appearing in various off-off-Broadway plays. Just one year later, she landed the role of Tzeitel in "Fiddler on the Roof" on Broadway, which she played for three years.

She moved on to other musicals and even had a stint singing at local bathhouses, which is where she earned her core following of fans. It was around this time that she worked with and became close with her piano accompanist, who happened to be none other than Barry Manilow. He would produce her first album, 1972's "The Divine Miss M," which would earn Midler her first Grammy.

The '70s saw her fame continue to grow with appearances on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" and a number of other album releases, which only boosted her popularity. She eventually moved to television and movies, with her first film role in 1979's "The Rose" earning her an Academy Award nomination and a Golden Globe win.

She continued to work in both the music and film worlds, appearing in the movies "Down and Out in Beverly Hills," "Big Business" and "Beaches," which included her now-iconic song "Wind Beneath My Wings" on its soundtrack.

For her role in 1991's "For The Boys" Midler would earn her second Oscar nomination, but once again, she wouldn't win.

The next few decades only added to her already stellar reputation in Hollywood and culminated in a Las Vegas stage show titled "Showgirl Must Go On" which premiered in 2008 and lasted two years. Since then, she's continued to act in movies and theater, as well as releasing one album and performing live.

With a career that's spanned over half a century and counting, Midler's contributions to the entertainment industry have been heavily praised and she has the awards to prove it. On top of countless nominations, in her career, she's won four Golden Globe Awards, three Grammy Awards, three Primetime Emmy Awards and two Tony Awards. Now 77 years old, Midler shows no signs of slowing down, as she has proven that she is truly one of the best in the 'biz.

While she was conquering the entertainment industry, Midler also managed to make time for her personal life. After meeting von Haselberg, a performance/comedy artist, the two got married in December 1984. Although he grew up in the UK, von Haselberg comes from a German noble family. 

But did you know that Midler and von Haselberg tied the knot just six weeks after they met each other? Yes, Midler was so in love with him that she proposed to him herself.

“I asked him,” she admitted in an interview with Jimmy Kimmel in February 2021.

While they had the chance to prepare for a grand wedding ceremony, they opted to marry each other at a Las Vegas wedding with an Elvis Presley look-alike presiding over their ceremony.

For years, the couple thought they didn’t have any photos to look back on and treasure from that memorable day. But when the chapel where they got married closed down, they were sent photos from their wedding.

“Apparently, there was a photographer there. And the Starlight Chapel closed its doors, which was about five years ago, they sent us pictures,” Midler said.

Having been married for nearly four decades, the couple’s relationship seems to only get stronger by the day.

Back in 2014, when she and von Haselberg marked their 30th-anniversary celebration, Midler admitted that it’s “rare” to have a long-lasting relationship in Hollywood. Sharing their secret, she told PEOPLE:

“I think the secret is giving each other a lot of lead and a lot of room and not being in each other’s faces all the time.”

Two years after their wedding, the couple had a daughter named Sophie von Haselberg. Midler also described her husband as the greatest father who has ever lived.

“He’s fantastic. He picked up the slack when I was on the road. He taught her a foreign language. He taught her to cook,” she said.

“We used to fight bitterly, we came to the conclusion that we wanted to raise a child, we wanted to raise a really wonderful child, we never wanted to hurt that kid in any way and we stayed together until it got better, and it did get better and it was really fascinating,” she said told ITV in an interview as quoted by the Daily Mail.

They say “patience is a virtue,” — and Midler agrees, confirming it’s hard but “worth it.” “It’s best to pick your fights wisely and just meditate. Stay calm. Don’t go from zero to 60 in two seconds. Just stay calm and try to breathe,” she remarked.

In February 2021, Midler appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” to reveal how ecstatic she was to witness her own daughter get married in 2020. She recalled that she and Martin were “over the moon” to hear the good news, despite the fact that the wedding was held at the height of the pandemic. They got to work helping to organize the festivities, with Midler in charge of the flowers while Martin took care of the food.

Midler described the small wedding that only had 11 people in attendance as “so sweet,” and added the bride and groom had “a great time.” 

“They stayed up all night and they drank. They had a ball.” 

Watching her daughter walk down the aisle must surely have rekindled memories of her own love story with Martin and her daughter’s role in keeping them together. Midler and Martin once revealed that their journey had its rough patches but that staying together was a “conscious” choice made on both their parts for Sophie’s well-being.

“There was a conscious effort to create exactly the life we have,” Martin said, while Midler praised her husband, who quit his job as a commodities trader to support his wife’s career as well as raise their daughter. “He has looked after me for many, many years,” she said. “He’s sacrificed a lot.” 

Now, the pair can look back on their challenging moments with a clearer perspective. Midler said:

“We look back (at the difficult times) and wipe our brows and say, ‘What the hell was that?’”

What are your thoughts on Bette Midler and Martin von Haselberg’s marriage? Do you agree with Midler's marriage advice? Let us know, and pass this on to people you know who are fans of the entertainer!