Bartender Gives Guidance To Anxious Mom Who Called Gay Bar After Her Son Came Out

Mar 30, 2023

Coming out to your parents as a queer person can be one of the most daunting experiences a member of the LGBTQ+ community can go through. While you never know exactly how anyone will react to the development, the response from family members, particularly the parents who raised you, will always carry more emotional weight. However, what many people tend to overlook is that the situation isn't a one-way street. Many parents also struggle with how to react appropriately when their child delivers such significant news.

One mom in Mississippi found herself in that exact struggle. However, she turned to a pretty unexpected place in her attempt to gain some clarity on her situation.

In January 2018, Kara Terese was going about her day serving customers at the Gulfport gay bar Sipps when she picked up a phone call unlike any other she had ever received at work. The chat with the woman veered into such unexpected territory that Terese felt she just had to share it online.

In a Facebook post, Terese recounted the conversation started out innocently enough. However, her suspicions arose after the woman asked if Sipps was a gay bar. Terese answered it was a venue for all individuals but that its clientele was mostly from the gay community. But it was the woman's next few questions that floored Terese, who detailed the conversation as such:

"Lady: 'Are you Gay?'

Me: 'YES MA'AM'

Lady: 'What was the one thing you wanted from your parents when you a (sic) came out?'

Me: 'Umm.'

Lady: 'My son just came out to me and I don't want to say anything that may mess him up in the head.'"

Warmed by the mom's earnestness and care for her son, the bartender then tried to answer as genuinely as she could.

In the post, Terese recalled the rest of her chat with the anxious mother.

"Me: well I think that you should just make sure he knows that you love and accept, wait do you accept it?

Lady: well Umm yes if that's what he wants.

Me: You should definitely let him know that you love and accept him! I think everything will be ok from there!

Lady: okay well thank you.

Me: you are very welcome and good luck!"

Terese later told HuffPost while it isn't uncommon to have such a discussion with friends and family, she had never expected it would arise at work.

"I have had a few people that I grew up with ask advice when they found out their child or child's friend was gay, but never as random as this phone call," she said.

"I wish more people were eager to just ask questions," she added. "That is how you learn!"

Terese told Bored Panda she usually fields such questions from those making the big reveal, not the other way around.

"The role reversal and it coming from a parent (being a stranger) is the part that shocked me," she remarked and added, "It's definitely a different approach. Most people would just do some research on the internet or talk to the one gay they know (we all have one)."

The heartwarming story touched many readers on Facebook. One particularly sweet comment read:

"The real hero in the story is the boy's mother. She called an average everyday person, someone who has gone through what her son had, to find out the most helpful response… That is love. I hear so many stories of parents disowning their children. For a mother to reach out for advise (sic) for an appropriate response is cause for hope."

What did you think of the mother's actions? What would you have said had you been in the bartender's place? Let us know, then pass this on to friends and family to get their take on it, too.