5 Kind Things To Say To Rude People
Jan 24, 2018
As long as there are people on this earth, there will be rudeness. Sadly, the people you like most often say the rudest things to you. When someone puts you down, it takes great willpower not to defend yourself with equal vigor. But by doing that, you play their game and open the door to even worse episodes of relationship-destroying mutual rudeness. No matter the situation, you can always choose your words wisely enough that you do not give into the rudeness. This keeps you positive and under control.
Below are five key phrases you can use to reply to the most common rudeness:
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1. Thanks!
Someone who is being rude is usually doing so to gain a reaction from you. Give them a reaction, but not the type they expect you to give. Simply say, "Thanks!" This acknowledges their comment. But then keep it moving, proving you are unaffected by the rude drama. Although taking the high road is tough when someone says rude things, doing so raises your confidence and makes rising above their drama even easier the next time.
2. How am I supposed to respond to that?
When someone else is rude, put the pressure back on them while taking it off your own shoulders. By asking this simple question, the other person has to readjust their approach. They stop to think about their words and why they said them. So how do they expect you to respond? With anger? With embarrassment? By showing their comment did not bring you down, it makes most rude people speechless. This gives you time to calm the situation and raise it to a more mature level.
3. Why would you say that?
By using your response time to pose a real question, you prove you care about the other person. You also show how their words will not take you to a low place. Instead of fighting back in what could escalate to a heated exchange, you show you have empathy for their feelings. Maybe the rude person is feeling stressed by other things. Maybe you triggered them without knowing. You will never understand why they were rude, unless you ask. If they cannot give you a good answer to this question, it simply proves they have their own issues to figure out. They are not yours to handle.
4. Why be so negative, so often?
Do you find yourself deflecting this person's rudeness often? If so, call them out on it. Show them they are being rude by holding the mirror up to them. Many situations of rudeness involve someone trying to pass their own pain, bad attitude or aggravation onto someone else. Rudeness to others actually reflects internal feelings of the person being rude. Help them see this is more about their own hostility, not yours.
5. Let's talk another time.
It is never shameful to react in a justified way. But it is shameful to fuel emotional fires by saying something that hurts others. Instead of snapping back by being as rude as they were to you, step away from the situation for a breather. By taking time to respond, you honor both of your feelings. Stepping back keeps you from saying something hurtful, angry or off-subject. It also gives the other person some time to consider what they said to you. Instead of reacting to them, you simply give them the time to regroup and approach you in a better way.