11 Habits That Lead To Positive Relationships

Jun 15, 2021

When you first start a relationship, it's thrilling. More often than not, you've developed an instant attraction to someone new and want to spend all of your time with them. As you learn more about each other, your relationship continues to grow and develop. This phase can last a long time but it's inevitable that things will change at some point.

Once a relationship has matured, it starts to take hard work to keep things as exciting as they once were. At this point, the thrill of the new relationship dies down. For the relationship to work out, you have to be willing to work on making the relationship truly amazing. 

Even once a couple is married, the work doesn't stop there. Following the honeymoon phase, some couples learn that marriage requires a lot more dedication and perseverance than they had previously thought. Whether a couple has been together for five months or fifty years, it's important to know what factors help a relationship pass the test of time

Needless to say, positive relationships are usually the ones that last rather than negative ones. The good news is that there are a number of habits that people can do in order to keep a relationship positive. A habit is defined as, "A settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up" by the Oxford Dictionary. This goes both ways, meaning both positive and negative habits often stick. So in order to ensure your relationship veers on the positive side, here are 11 habits that are recommended for positive relationships.

Respect is of the utmost importance in any relationship between two people, but it's vital in a romantic union. The reason for this is because having respect for your significant other builds trust and shows acceptance of one another. Conversely, being disrespectful to your partner can weaken trust and build barriers in the connection you have. Disagreements can lead to big arguments, allowing the possibility of insults. Therefore it's important to watch your tongue and make sure you think before saying something that could have negative consequences.

2. Eliminate Distractions When You're With Your Partner

On top of work and other obligations, it's hard enough to find the time to spend with your partner as it is. So keep that time together sacred and don't allow distractions to take away from it. Not only can it be frustrating but it can also be damaging to your relationship, as the intimacy between you and your partner can be affected. A common distraction is being preoccupied with one's work.

Other tips include turning off the TV when eating dinner together, leaving your phones off or in another room, and making sure that you leave your work brain at the office before heading home.

3. Respond To Each Other

According to Dr. John Gottman, who conducted a study of newlyweds and followed up at the six-year mark, 86% of couples that stayed together turned inwards instead of away from each other, while only 33% of couples that got divorced did. Gottman explains that turning inwards simply meaning responding to each other's bids for attention.

Ways that you can do this are simple and range from responding to your significant other when they've asked a question or simply bringing something that they've asked for on your way home from work. 

This one is pretty simple and can actually impact any relationship in your life — be sure to bring up your partner's good qualities. Positive reinforcement is sure to strengthen bonds between the two of you, while conversely, constantly bringing up someone's shortcomings can damage the relationship, sometimes irreversibly. 

5. Stay Connected Throughout The Day

It's no secret that our lives are busy and relationships take work. But one simple way of showing you're thinking about your significant other is by staying connected throughout the day. Simple gestures such as writing a text message during your break at work or giving your partner a quick call on your way home can do wonders to keep you connected. 

6. Remember To Take Time Apart

Of course, spending time together is an essential aspect of a relationship, but it's just as important to spend time apart from each other. People in healthy relationships understand the need to have a little alone time, whether it's going to a movie by yourself, seeing your own friends, or even reading a book on your own. This time apart can ultimately serve the greater good of the relationship.

7. Forgive Shortcomings

There's no such thing as a perfect person — we're all human and it's only expected that we each have flaws. One thing about being in a relationship is learning about little quirks that your partner has that might push your buttons. The best way to handle this in a healthy relationship is to accept these minor shortcomings, forgive your partner and love them anyway.

Being affectionate with your significant other is an important part of establishing a connection and trust in your relationship. Maintaining that affection, even after the honeymoon period is over, is key to having a strong and healthy relationship.

9. Surprise Your Partner

Just as keeping up affection in your relationship is important, no matter how long you've been together with your partner, so too is maintaining spontaneity. Falling into a routine can be boring for both of you, but keeping things surprising and fun can help to create feelings of appreciation and love. Whether it's small or large gestures, doing something spontaneous for your partner will go far in showing you made an effort to do something special for them. If you don't have any ideas of your own, have a look online to get inspiration. 

10. Work Together On Shared Goals

Healthy relationships tend to include both short and long-term goals that a couple can aim towards together. A lack of progress and complacency in a relationship can lead to feelings of unhappiness and regret. To combat this, sit down with your partner and set some goals of where you'd like to be in 5, 10, or more years — what would your lives together look like?

Just remember, don't be swayed by what others might think your relationship should be like — forget about society's definition of success and focus on what would make you and your partner truly fulfilled.

11. Find Humor In Each Other's Mistakes

Relationships might be serious but it's important to remember to have fun. That means when one of you makes a mistake, be sure to laugh it off together. After all, its inevitable mistakes will happen so you might as well find the humor in them.

Do you have any other habits you'd like to add to this list? If this article resonated with you then be sure to pass it on to everyone you know who is in a relationship!